


Therapy on Ice

by Shmexiness



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-08 17:02:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8853175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmexiness/pseuds/Shmexiness
Summary: Yuri's life had been upended sometime last semester, putting him in a depressive slump for months. He's surprised to find his life being changed once more, but this time by the kind influence of a patient stranger. Slice of Life AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is my first Victuri fic, treat it kindly!
> 
> T Rated chapter ahead.

 "Yuri!"

I wonder when exactly I didn't want to get out of bed anymore. The 'why' is still a mystery too, but 'when' seems like an easier concept to me right now.

"Yuri, so help me I will get the broom! Wake up and help me open shop."

Ah, the broom, I guess I need to get up now.

My name is Yuri Katsuki, I'm a college student whose career as a student is currently on hiatus. I'm an overall average guy, with an average skill set. I was at the top of my class but after last semester my mentality shifted to a darker perspective. I seem to have buried myself into a depressive rut somewhere between then and now.

I run through the motions. I slip my pajamas off, fold them, and tuck them away. I shuck on an old pair of pants and a band t-shirt with a few hidden holes. My shoes are quickly toed on after socks. I comb my hair and slip thick, framed glasses down the bridge of my nose. My bedroom door is shut until it clicks gently as I step into the corridor. They're simple motions, but they're mine.

I've had depressive episodes, it's something that I know how to snap out of when I get tired of feeling this way. I just haven't gotten tired of being like this yet. It's the longest episode I've ever dealt with.

My mother walks out of the kitchen door when I got downstairs, she finished unloading today's deliveries already. Mari stood leaning in the doorway as I went in to the pantry searching for breakfast, an unlit cigarette dangling from her lips.

"About time you got up, I mean geez, you sure are living up to the 'typical college bum in his mom's basement' standards. You've only been out of school for a month, step your game up bro." My sister Mari, 7 years my elder, hasn't changed since she hit puberty. Somehow she managed to morph into a nagging 45 year old woman on the afternoon of her twelfth birthday.

"You've been out of school for ten years and are literally living in your mother's attic; what standard are you living up to Mari?"

She drops her cigarette with a stunned and irked expression before tackling me. After having a slipper shoved in my mouth and my spine nearly broken from my sister mounting me like a horse, the winner of our brawl was clearly decided.

Mari smiled broadly after helping me back to my feet.

"Good to see you can still wrestle just as terribly as you used to, little man."

I never know whether I should feel grateful or aggravated that she knows I'm different from how I used to be. She doesn't quite pity me, but she treats me more gingerly than she did before, like she's scared that I'll just break if she's herself.

That's right, this is her holding back.

"Mari! Yuri! Honestly, still fighting at your age, I don't know where you get the habit. Come and help me open shop you two. It's the middle of the tourist season, we don't have time to waste."

Mom was always in a hurry, in the kitchen and the front of the shop. She just couldn't be in two places at once.

I looked down at my hands, still red from our tussle. I suppose it was time to really start the day. I wonder if this one would be any different. Would it be like it used to?

I get pulled out of my reverie with a bright red leash slapping me clear in the face. I adjusted my glasses quickly to glare at Mari, whose cigarette smoke was curling lazily around her form and smirk.

"Go take the mutt for a walk, I'll help mom with everything."

Today I feel grateful to her.

The changing of the seasons led to bitterly cold nights but refreshingly cool days. This was Vicchan's favorite weather. He would be absolutely clingy at night but in the day it was like he couldn't run farther ahead of me. My arms jerked back and forth as Vicchan moved in every direction on the sidewalk.

It felt good to be outside. I smiled softly at Vicchan, he was the only reason I was at all bearable at home anymore. No matter what, dogs were just happy, especially Vicchan. It was reassuring to have the constant happiness-

Suddenly, everything was too still.

Vicchan was locked on target. Across the park to our left there was another dog. Vicchan's tail began to swing back and forth.

"Vicchan! No, sit!"

Vicchan's playmate leaned down to its paws and waggled its backside. The game was on.

I was thrown off balance and dove forward to avoid eating dirt. We were barreling across the browning grass and leaves towards the larger brown dog. The other turned towards the north side of the park and gave chase.

Good God I was not built to move this fast. I was kept bent forward as Vicchan chased his new friend around various trees and park benches. My knees were almost hitting my chin from the angle I was forced to sprint at. Somehow I managed to avoid tripping over any roots or bystanders.

"Vicchaaan! Stop it! Heel!"

We were going too fast, the perpetrator leading Vicchan was bringing us towards some unfortunate soul with his back turned to us. I pulled out my last resort to stop my ridiculous animal. He knew he was in trouble whenever I called him by his full name.

"Victor!"

Momentum is a funny thing. Despite how my last resort was successful in stopping Vicchan, I was unsuccessful in slowing myself down.

The stranger had turned around at my yelling, which only made my fumbling more embarrassing when I crashed, face first, into where his chest met his neck. His blue scarf was shoved unceremoniously into my mouth while he let out a huff of air.

We slammed into the ground. There was a delay of any movement on both of our parts. Vicchan whined and began licking my temple as an apology, filling the silence.

He was rather prone, considering he had a stranger laying on top of him. I scramble up onto my hands and knees above him. I began to stammer out a poorly articulated apology.

My apology was stopped short.

He was too close, eyes bright, hair feathered away from his face perfectly. I stopped looking when I realized I was staring intently at this stranger I was on top of. The flush creeping across my skin was so strong I was scared that he could feel the heat radiating from my face.

"You called?"

The man's accent threw me, but not as much as his smile did.

He was stunning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and let me know how I'm doing. I'm a little rusty but I wanted to try writing again. It seems dark now but I promise it's going to be fluffier than a damn unicorn now that Victor's here. Beware of character development, my arch nemesis, that is soon to come.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all who have commented and followed my story, it's really encouraging! I hope that I can get on a regular basis of publishing chapters to at least once a week, but I am a full time college student with medical school interviews and graduation coming up, so no promises.
> 
> AS FOR THE RATING OF THIS STORY. I will let you all know when something gets more intimate at the pre-story area (where I'm typing now). As for now the story is a solid T rating for language, flirting, sexual theme, and dark subjects; until further notice!
> 
> T Rated chapter ahead.

"Yuri!"

It was the third time that my mother called for me, it was time to wake up again. My arms threw off my blankets while I began working myself up to waking up. Depression is a sticky thing for me. It's more like trying to do all the things you've done before but while in a vat of molasses, stress on the sticky. You have to start trying at some point though, whether it's for yourself or for someone else. I'd try for mom.

My room was still frigid, helping to wake me up. Vicchan, my little space heater, was long gone out of my bed. I always slept in now, and he simply didn't have the patience to stay with me until after dawn.

Vicchan… Victor

I crawled back into bed and hid under the covers just as quickly as I moved the previous day. My bed creaked and rocked against the wall from my motions. The sheer embarrassment I felt from yesterday creeped over me, making my palms sweat. Oh, yesterday.

* * *

"Gah!"

I threw myself backwards to make some space between us. The silvery blonde man was still laying on his back, giggling at the situation. This was bad. I sat on my heels to begin apologizing more formally.

"I'm so sorry, sir. M-my dog was chasing another through the park, and I just lost control of him, and I didn't see you, and-and." My palms felt hot while I talked, my pink cheeks seemed to have sent the 'flushed' memo all across my body.

The stranger moved to rest his weight on his hands while I spoke, leaning leisurely. Somehow he made getting knocked on his ass look as casual as sitting down for a picnic. I couldn't quite manage to look him in his eyes after being so close to him just a moment ago, so I didn't see his expressions. I can't even remember the last time I had been that close to another person.

"It's fine, I just didn't expect to run into anyone who could recognize me. Especially literally, neh?"

His accented English was strong, I couldn't quite place it though. I had visited America in a study abroad program and he didn't sound like any American I had ever met.

I took a little too long for me to process his words, he looked worried. My voice kept wavering despite my distance from him, it was embarrassing.

"U-um, I'm sorry. I've never met you before." Why would I be able to recognize him, was he famous? Vicchan was still apologetically licking the side of my head while I pondered. I startled a bit at his attentions, reminding me that I had scolded him. "My dog-"

The foreign man came close again, his right cheek almost touching my left. He reached to begin petting Vicchan who was still tethered to me, his licking finally stopped.

"So cute! You're like a baby Makkachin." Puffs of the man's breath brushed back my hair while he lovingly rubbed Vicchan's face. His other hand landed beside my bent knee to steady himself.

Too much.

I felt my body slink down to the ground like a balloon deflating, while Vicchan received adorations and coos from a total stranger. I felt like I was going to have an aneurysm from the amount of blood I felt under my skin. How do I get out of this situation? Maybe if I scoot away slowly he won't notice.

"You're the first person I've found in Japan that has a poodle. And you speak fluent English, amazing! What's this little guy's name?" He curved his attentions from Vicchan to me, on the ground. All of him was getting all over me again. Our positions were switched, with him looming over me. He waited for an answer. His palm sat above my shoulder on the crunchy grass as he dipped even closer.

Why was this guy so suggestive, in broad daylight, in a park?!

I panicked. I can't get close to him again, I don't know how to handle him.

"Th-this is my Victor named dog." The words felt wrong in and out of my mouth from how quickly I rushed them.

His eyes widened a bit before he smiled widely.

"I see. Well, I'm a Victor named man." His voice was breathy and came out like he was telling me a secret. It was the most intimate thing I've ever been told and it was just an introduction with a bad joke. Did he know he was doing that?

"Now what's the name of Victor's master?" He had backed up to a socially acceptable distance. His hand was offered to me as he cocked his head with a grin. I took his hand before answering. Pieces of broken leaves were pressed into our hands as we stood and brushed off.

"Y-Yuri." I gulped.

"I think my Makkachin likes your pup, Yuri. I'm sorry that she's caused you trouble. She's almost as excitable as I am, and you can imagine how that gets her into trouble." He flourished his last statement with a wink. Before I can get a word in Victor starts again.

"Makkachin, we should apologize to Yuri and Victor. How about I buy you a coffee and Victor a treat, neh Yuri?" Victor, not my Victor, looked at me while Vicchan sat at his feet politely, completely accepting of his name-shared companion. Now my dog decides to sit still and be polite, traitor.

I shuffled my feet, Victor's gaze was so direct that I wasn't sure I felt pressured to say yes or run. It was like being looked at under a microscope, and I knew I wasn't much to see.

I felt a tug on my tethered arm. Vicchan was being too still, he found Makkachin once more. It took him a little longer than last time to set his resolve.

The whole situation brought a sense of déjà vu when I was pulled back into Victor's chest. Unlike the last time, Victor tightly wrapped me in a hug to keep me steady. My arm was pressed up between us to keep us from being flush against him from knee to neck, barely.

"Come now Yuri, both Victors are all onboard. Let me treat you. While we chat they can play and get out some of their energy."

Victor was a rather insistent man, it seemed easier to just go along with his wish. Plus Vicchan really does seem to be enjoying himself. Both dogs yipped while pawing at their respective owner's legs. I thought that Vicchan could get me to do anything with his kicked puppy look, having Makkachin as his partner just gave me a double dose of the same adorable face.

So I went with this strange man and his cute dog to the nearby coffee shop. I would go in, get cheap coffee, sit while Vicchan played, nod my head to some of Victor's questions, and then run as fast as I can back home. It was a simple plan. Surprisingly, Victor was silent until we sat down at the outdoor shop.

"So Yuri, I haven't seen you around the park before. Do you live nearby or did you travel out of your way today?" His questions begin after our orders are placed. This isn't a yes or no question. I can't nod or shake my head for this. Shit.

"I live nearby, but I usually walk past the park, not through it." Our orders come and allow a brief reprieve after my soft response. Victor looked almost like he melted as he drank the heavily sugared and creamed coffee. I tapped the side of my porcelain cup, the dark liquid sloshing quietly. When would it be most socially acceptable to leave, I wonder.

"Victor is precious. I hope you don't mind that I kidnapped the both of you out today. I really did want to apologize for any trouble Makkachin and I caused you."

He looked quietly up from his drink. I saw something in his eyes that I hadn't seen before. It was less intense that what he had shown me before but still more intimate.

He looked sincerely sorry for what had happened today. Vicchan and Makkachin don't have anything on Victor's kicked puppy face. I inhaled choppily. It's kind of hard to stay mad at someone when they look at you like that.

"I mean it was just a tumble, there's nothing to be sorry about. Really, it's fine." For the love of all that is good please put away that expression. I could already feel another blushing fit begin.

"Oh, I was apologizing for how familiar I was being with you as well. Unless that part didn't bother you and I don't need to be sorry for it." Victor was back to being flirtatious, and smiley.

"W-wait, I mean…" A full bodied flush ran over me.

Victor sat across the table, waiting patiently for my answer. My hands mindlessly fold up the used sugar packets sitting on the table. Well I half expected him to interrupt me and begin another comedic spiel, but that's fine. Put me on the spot and surprise me more then.

"I mean… I accept your apology for that too, it's okay."

"Good! I would hate to break apart friends." We both looked over to two jumping and excited dogs. They were rolling and biting gently at the other's ears and neck.

That's the happiest I've seen Vicchan in a long while. It reminds me of how he played when he was a puppy. It was absolutely precious. I giggled when they began to chase each other around the café's small courtyard. Their feelings were infectious.

Seeing him play, I decide to try not just for mom.

The only factor in question is Victor.

* * *

I can't believe that I agreed to go out with Victor again. We are supposed to meet this afternoon for another play date. My hands scrubbed over my face roughly while I try to plan out a strategy.

But…

How in the hell am I going to face Victor after he kissed me?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where there is a cliff, there is a cliffhanger (at least I think this is a cliffhanger.)
> 
> Please comment to let me know how you feel!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your continued support of my fic! The reviews, follows, and favorites are really encouraging and inspired me to write through the holiday before my finals. I hope you all are satisfied with the direction that I'm going to be taking this fic. Plot is happening somewhere in the midst of this character development, I promise. Enjoy!
> 
> T rated chapter ahead
> 
> Warnings: language, dark themes, and my inconsistency with these pre-story entries.

'He'll be fine.'

I kept repeating this mantra inside of my mind. Nothing could keep that guy down, especially something as small as a date at the park with some clumsy stranger with the same dog.

It is **not** a date.

I need to stop thinking about him. I've put my dirty clothes from the previous day back inside the drawers twice now. I know the phrase 'thrown to the wind' as a general explanation of disorder. My rhythm was 'thrown into the blender' since I decided to forgo meeting with my eccentric new… friend? All of the parts of my everyday motions were still there, just in complete, utter, fucking disorder.

I tripped through the motions.

I slip my pajamas off, fold them, and tuck them away: I fall out of my bed and trip while taking off my pants, stubbing my toe and ripping my night shirt somewhere along the way.

I shuck on a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt: I realize these are Mari's sweats a few hours later when she teases me for the rhinestone studded "SPOILED" lettering across my backside.

My shoes are quickly toed on: I totally forgot socks, and I had to hunt for the shoes that had wandered under my bed, completely without my knowing how.

I comb my hair and slip thick, framed glasses down the bridge of my nose: my hair was knotted from me tossing back and forth this morning, and my glasses were smudged with something that just couldn't be cleaned off.

Well today seemed like it would go just perfectly.

My bedroom door is shut until it slams as I step into the corridor. The door closed so quickly that the gust of wind that followed it ruffled my hair. Normally it's something I wouldn't even notice, but today wasn't normal. I remembered the puffs of air from his laughter that had done the same to me yesterday. Even though we had been outside, on a windy fall day, his breath had been so warm. Maybe that was because he was too close while he petted Vicchan. I wasn't sure.

Would he laugh off my disappearance too?

Stop thinking about him. I either will begin to blush or feel guilty that I am skipping our da- meeting.

"Yuuri!" My mother's voice is so much more terrifying when she yells across the house and you're not across the house to hear her. Her shrill yell shook both the foundation of the onsen and my very being, due to my close proximity. She immediately ran closer when she saw I had already made it downstairs.

"I'm sorry sweetie." My mother cooed while patting the hair covering my ears, feeling guilty for yelling so close to me.

"You're normally not up this early, and it usually takes me a few more tries before you even move. You look awfully flushed, are you feeling sick?"

I hadn't even realize that I was still red faced from thinking about Victor this morning. I felt my cheeks turn even more crimson when I even remembered remembering yesterday. What a mess.

Before she could test my temperature, my pause and darker flush worrying her, I caught her hand and rubbed my thumb across its back. She had so much to worry about. I was worrying about yesterday too much. It's time to do something about this incessant worrying, at least for me, perhaps for both of us.

"I'm fine mom, I promise. I had to look too hard for my shoes this morning and got all flustered, that's all. I figured after my difficulties this morning it's about time I cleaned my room." Mom nodded and smiled sweetly at me while I spoke. Her other hand came up and sandwiched my own in a warm gesture.

"Alright, Mari ran out to pick up some emergency ingredients that we didn't order in the bulk shipments. I'm still a little frazzled on all of the recipe's ingredients. The ones with the little twists at the end that your father never wrote down." She turned away while cleaning up some nonexistent mess on the kitchen counter. She tried to disguise the crack in her voice but I know how she sounds when she cries. I know entirely too well.

I leave the room before I start thinking too much. I need to clean.

I vacuumed, cleaned the windows, changed my sheets, re-pinned the posters on my walls, removed all of my surface space clutter, and put away both dirty and clean clothes in their respective locations. It was 30 minutes until my supposed to happen meeting with Victor.

I ran down stairs, slipping back into the kitchen of the house portion of our onsen-home duo.

"Hey ma, is there anyone in the outdoor baths right now?" My mother was still where I had last spoken to her. She had completed the meal plan for the week for both us and the business. Her loopy handwriting filled the dry-erase menu board she was working on perfectly, with little cartoons of the dishes themselves floating in the board's empty spaces.

"No sweetie, not since last night. Your sister is about to go clean them though." I rummaged through the cabinet below our sink while mom spoke. I grabbed a pair of rubber gloves and a face mask before shutting the cabinet. I could feel mom's eyes on my back as a stood and closed the white wooden doors. The elastic snap of the gloves echoed through the kitchen after she finished talking.

"Could you ask her to walk Vicchan instead? I'll cover her cleaning. I've got in a bit of a mood and my room's got nothing left to be cleaned." She nodded sweetly and went back to designing the specials menu with a small smile.

Vicchan came barreling into the room just moments after the mention of his name. He looks so excited to go for his walk, probably hoping to meet with his new friend.

Would Makkachin look at Victor like this before he walked her?

I grimace underneath my face mask. He keeps coming back into my head no matter what I do. Even when I walk towards the back I feel how sore my legs are from running with Vicchan, making me think of how I literally ran into the eccentric foreigner.

Just keep cleaning.

I cleaned the showers, stocked the towels, checked the mineral balance of the onsen water, restacked stools, topped off soaps, refilled shampoos and conditioners, and I even trimmed the bushes and trees surrounded the pools.

While I was picking up branches by the men's bath I had something thrown at the back of my head. That had felt a lot like a leash and the metal clink of its clasp reminded me of yesterday. Mari had returned from walking Vicchan then. That took longer than I thought it would for her, both to hit me and to walk Vicchan.

"Your dog is an ass and I refuse to take care of him no matter the bargain driven. He pulled the leash out of my hold and bolted around the park. I just spent the better part of our 'walk' chasing your animal like an idiot." Her voice came out quickly and faded as she walked away from the open air baths, an unlit cigarette dangling from her hand.

Did Vicchan find Victor and Makkachin? Because he normally doesn't bolt, he just pulls you around. No, Mira would have said something about some tall, handsome foreigner that would have hugged all over her and asked about my whereabouts. She wouldn't let me hear the end of it if she had.

Did he wait long for me?

I wiped myself down and walked back into the front of the onsen. I still had work that I needed to do. I also needed to figure out how to apologize to Mari for Vicchan's eccentricities.

Was Victor still waiting?

I wandered into the onsen's kitchen, the stainless steel appliances gleamed brightly back at me. There were a few dishes left over from lunch. I can do those. My hands felt too hot under the steaming water, but I didn't touch the water faucets until the dishes were done.

"Mom!" I yell too loudly, with an urgency in my voice that doesn't have a place there. She came into the kitchen, shock written in her expression and stance when she finally found me.

"There aren't any more dishes to clean?" Her shock began to morph into confusion at my question.

"N-no dear, I had collected them all after cleaning the cookware." Her voice was stammered out into the space between us.

"I need more dishes to clean." I couldn't stand how I felt right now. I need something to take my mind off of Victor and make me forget that I even had a meeting with him today. That I was supposed to go.

Mom nodded vigorously and ran over to the large fridge. She began pulling out containers of leftovers and ingredients, setting them beside the washing station where I stood.

"I'll go grab some from our fridge in the house. We need to dump what we can't use and clean out both fridges. After that we can clean the light fixtures, wipe down all counter and stovetops, and mop." She scooted out of the kitchen as fast as she could talk. And talk she did. We spent hours in the kitchen cleaning. I even helped her cook for the guests we had staying that night.

* * *

The day had gone perfectly, just like I had sarcastically predicted.

Later that evening I would realize that today was the first day that I had spent time with my mother in over 7 months. I said that I would try for mom today, and I really did.

I would realize a lot that evening.

I realized that today, I actually felt something. Even though it was guilt, and it felt awful, I still felt something genuine and strong. I realized that I felt good about how much I had gotten done today. I was running from my problems in a way, but I managed to curve it into something productive.

I realized that I had gone into the onsen's kitchen for the first time since dad died. Not only that, but I did it with mom. We worked and even were laughing where she and dad had done so for years. It hadn't felt like we were _trying_ to be normal, we just were.

I realized I was fighting my depression. I knew I couldn't overcome everything and be like I used to instantly, but I could get better in just one day. Today proved that. Thinking this, right now, proved that.

And… I realized that I sincerely, deeply hoped to see Victor tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and let me know how you guys feel or any pointers on my writing. Depression is a hard subject to write about, especially because I've never experienced it personally. I have a good set of betas to catch some of my mistakes and let me know if I veer too far from important detail, but sometimes I don't get their opinion until after I post haha. Thank you again for reading.
> 
> Unfortunately I will most likely be unable to update until after finals, which is two weeks from now. If there is any surprise procrastination while studying, this is my first outlet. This I promise. I hope to hear from you!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again friends and strangers alike! I am back from finals, medical school interviews, and my father's surgery. I made good on my promise, it is the day after finals and I have a new chapter for you all. I have a monster in my lap because I thought I knew where I wanted this fic to go, how I wanted their interactions to go, but I was wrong. I am constantly being pulled to a new place with these characters! Due to my story's ever-changing plot there may come some OC behavior from my AU characters.
> 
> And because YOI Episode 10 destroyed me and my whole life is never going to be as satisfying as this show, I need more.
> 
> T rated chapter ahead
> 
> Warnings: language, aggravation with dark themes, and pseudo-sexual guesswork.

Depression sucks, I'm pretty sure that I've established that. But, add in social anxiety and you get an all-powerful pain in the ass that completely suffocates you.

It's amazing what passes through my mind when I sit for too long. It was a new day, one where I would go out to the park where Victor and I were supposed to meet the day before. I would find him.

So naturally, I ended up walking in the complete opposite direction of the park where he was most likely to be. He probably won't even remember, or he wouldn't want to see me. Vicchan would pull me no matter which park I walked him by, so there was no negative impact on him.

I reasoned out my cowardly actions with even more cowardly logic while I clutched at the container filled with mochi. Mom and I had made it last night. They were meant to be an apology gift, a conversation starter, a way to get closer to him. Now they were just going to be a binge eating regret snack.

Vicchan jerked left and right while I stared at the small, wrapped bento filled with bite-sized mochi. They were meant to be warm when I shared them with him. It was a stupid idea, a whimsical notion that was too intimate for a stranger. I felt like a child, running to apologize for something that wasn't even important.

"Yuri!" The rushed, rapidly incoming footsteps startled me almost as much as his voice.

I turned around to see Victor running up to me. His chest fell and rose rapidly, most likely from a long jog. His already clingy, athletic clothes pulled tightly across his upper body with each inhaled breath. We ran into each other; while I was running away he was running towards me. Literally? Figuratively?

"Victor." My voice was breathier than it was supposed to be. I blame the shock.

"Ah, at least you remembered my name." He huffed out his statement before puffing his cheeks out and looking to the left. He didn't hold his expression for more than a couple of seconds before chuckling and looking back to me. His hair covered half of his face as he cocked his head. He asked where I went without saying a word.

"I'm sorry about that." I fidgeted in place. Vicchan had begun pawing at Victor's feet. He leaned down and rubbed Vicchan's ears, much like he had done before.

"I just didn't expect you to run away." I could hear the goad in his voice though I couldn't see his face.

"I did not run from you. Not exactly." I went to defend myself as Victor stood. He brushed his hair back, raking his palm against his scalp to look me in the eye with both of his.

"I'm curious, what exactly was it? Did I scare you off?" He emoted his statements with his body language, almost bouncing from left to right. His sway riled Vicchan. He seemed different, what was his problem?

"You didn't scare me, and I didn't run from you." I reiterated my earlier point he had ignored after answering his question.

"Alright." He threw the word out after a minute of digesting my response.

His tone was playful, throughout the entire conversation it was pleasant, but it had an edge to it that wasn't there the day before. It bothered him to be ignored.

Wait.

He was bothered that I ignored him, enough to confront me about it. He could have just kept running when he saw me ahead of him. Even though I had upset him, he still ran to me. It couldn't have been just to fight with me, just one afternoon spent with Victor and I knew he wasn't a confrontational person. How mischievous his dog was and how he approached discipline showed me that much. The only other thing that it could be…

He had wanted to see me.

"I brought mochi." Jumping conversation topics always jogged the flow of a social interaction. Maybe I could bump it on to the track that both of us seemed to want.

I held out the small container by the cloth knot keeping it together. It was meant to be a peace offering, an edible olive branch. He looked down at it in surprise.

"They're a treat unique to Japan. I figured you hadn't had them before." I didn't know how else to say that I had made them for him without sounding like an idiot. I looked to Vicchan to build up the nerve to check Victor's expression. I felt the weight of the bento shift slightly and I saw him.

His smile was dazzling. His eyes though, they were beautiful before, but now, now they were damn near poetic. They were enough to inspire romantic descriptions from someone as oblivious as me. Holy shit were they gorgeous. Victor's voice came through my observations.

"Share them with me?" It seems my peace offering was accepted.

* * *

We ate them at the dog park. Vicchan ran around the fenced park excitedly while Victor and I sat on a sun-drenched bench, eating our mochi.

I explained how I had made them the night before, the different ways they could be served, my mother's excitement to make them by hand for the first time in years. He asked about my family, he laughed at my sister's antics, and he told me about his experiences with foreign food in England and Greece. I countered with American cuisine, surprisingly he had been there as well. Victor had been all over the world due to his work.

It was pleasant small talk that I hadn't had in what felt like ages. Of course small talk could snowball.

"All right Yuri, now why did you not show up to our coffee date?" He plopped one of the three remaining mochi in his mouth while he watched me.

I dropped my own treat into my lap from surprise at his question, the potato starch leaving a powdery residue everywhere it landed on the fabric of my pants. I grabbed the red bean treat before it rolled farther and held it between my fingers, rolling it into my palm.

"Well-" I jumped and interrupted my sentence when Victor slid his arm to the bench's back and leaned forward and towards me to get a better look at my face. My mind stuttered and flopped uselessly behind my eyes. Feet were turning to inches between us. I rubbed the mochi's starch onto my palm in a nervous fidget.

"Be explicit." His voice interjected lazily into my statement after he inched closer.

"Y-y-you're so touchy, I didn't know how to handle you. I still don't know how to handle you." He remained close, not quite touching like I had claimed he naturally did.

"So I did do something to scare you away. I didn't think I was being that touchy. What did I do?" I could feel the warmth radiating from his body as he scooted closer, trying to follow the meek volume of my voice when I turned my face away. I was making it worse by looking away, but I couldn't look him in the eye. How did he not think he was being touchy?!

"You get close, just like now! You, you got on top of me the other day. You even kissed me!" Saying everything out loud, a little too loudly due to my embarrassment, made it even more distressing. He didn't back away until he started talking.

"It bothers you when someone gets close to you like this?" He dipped back, even closer after asking his seemingly innocent question. His eyes looked slightly up at me due to his forward lean. The kicked puppy face was still strong with him. I blurted out a response while blushing.

"You're unexpected and unpredictable. I can usually read people pretty easily but I've never met someone like you." Well that's the honest truth, Victor was unlike anyone I'd ever met. I never can think around him clearly, because there's never time to think or he just gets in my space and my thinking goes to shit.

"So it's not the closeness, but my motive that concerned you." He stated with a slight inflection. It wasn't quite a question, but it merited a response.

"Not a lot of people get close to me either…" In more ways than one.

Victor abruptly stood after my subdued sounding statement.

"You and I have a lot in common it seems, Yuri." He looked back at me over his shoulder before facing me fully. I hadn't even realized that midday had creeped into late afternoon. We had talked for hours.

"We both speak accented English, we have great taste in dogs, we've even been to different countries, we don't let a lot of people close." Victor rattled on these facts like until he brought his face near enough for me to feel the air between us shift from his movement.

"And I can't read you either Yuri. Getting this near to you helps because you get more honest, but I can't seem to figure you out." I began to blush heavily, his expression, his body language. It was intense and almost inflamed my whole body instantly. I thought I was blushing before, I must look feverish now.

He got close to make me more honest, I'll be honest then.

"Well, I figured out that you wanted to see me. You only have hints, not even one conclusion." Being feisty was my nature, once you got through the crippling depression and social anxiety. I haven't felt this playful before though.

Was that enough honesty for you Victor?

Victor laughed gently before smiling slyly, his right hand set itself on the bench behind me. He looked down at me. The sun was setting behind his left shoulder. His body cast a shadow covering half of my face but was unable to eclipse the sun entirely. Still Victor was more blinding. His other hand lifted from his side to the bottom of my jaw, before sliding his hand to lift my chin up. That moment of eye contact felt like time after lightning striking the earth, where the loud clap of thunder had yet to come. We were learning one another in that anticipation.

"Well I figured out that you liked my motive enough to stay with me." He gently slapped my cheek with the hand that had held been tilting my face up. It seemed that Victor was playful too.

I tossed the cool red bean mochi that had been sitting in my palm into my mouth and chewed viciously after turning away from his now laughing form. My cheek flushed where he had slapped me lightly.

He got the hint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy smokes, almost 2K words. It's sad that I can't write more than that without grammar nazi-ing myself into a caffeine-deprived coma. Please let me know if I get anything grammatically or culturally incorrect. I'm doing guesswork and quick google searches for this fic's background information because I'm lazy, but it's still important!
> 
> Please review and let me know how I'm doing, if you liked it, if you saw something fishy and need it fixed for your sanity's sake, etc.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone, I hope you've been well! I hope you enjoy this chapter even more. This one is a bit shorter because I liked where the day ended.
> 
> T rated chapter ahead (probably G actually)
> 
> Warnings: some fluffy flirting, a lack of bad language, and delicious treats

We sat quietly on our bench while Victor eyed Vicchan playing with a smaller dog at the far corner of the park's play area. He didn't attempt to fill the silence between us. It sat comfortably like a blanket. It was unexpected. Well, everything always is with the tall foreign man.

Another mochi was quickly plopped into my mouth and chewed vigorously. I can't believe I let his ridiculous statement go without a fight, or even a pitiful argument. I mean, there was no point because he was right and he would just get in my personal space until I squeaked out a more belittling affirmation, but still.

I looked back up to him, the sun had barely moved and silhouetted him still. He suddenly looked shocked and glanced down at me. I bristled. He must have noticed my stare.

"Wait, when did I kiss you?" He asked while furrowing his brow.

"?!" I make a noise akin to crossing a pig snort with a dinosaur screech.

He didn't remember? He was all huffy because he thought I forgot our meeting and he goes and forgets that he kissed me. I stare incredulously back at his shy appearance. I didn't have words for him.

Victor shuffles back his feet before he points his index finger into the air. Each of his comments seemed to come with an accompanying gesticulation or gesture. He came to his conclusion it seemed.

"When I said goodbye! It's a formality in Russia to kiss when you greet and say farewell to someone." He laughed off my embarrassment.

No, I cannot have him kissing me again. I could handle his touching, his innuendos, but there would be no kisses. My face still felt hot. Remembering the soft press of his lips to the corner of my mouth made my lips almost itch. I won't stand for him stealing anymore tactile lip action.

"There, there's nothing formal about a kiss! They're not meant to be casual. They have more meaning than that, at least to me they do." My voice was wavering as it passed my lips, still tingling from the memory of his kiss.

I had stood up in my interjection. My hair fluttered and my glasses slid down my nose from how quick my movements were. The blue eyed man backed away some after my fiery exclamation, but he still smiled at me. That smile always means trouble.

"I'll be sure to put meaning behind any other kiss I give you then." I couldn't help but focus on his mouth while he stretched his words out. The syllables seemed almost exaggerated from his mouth's movements. His face leaned forwards, pushing the object of my attention towards me tauntingly.

Too much.

I pivot my foot to turn quickly towards Vicchan, his leash was still looped around my shaking hand. It felt like a good time to leave. I can't possibly think about Victor's mouth any more, lest I risk my sanity and blood pressure. I put a few steps between us before I hear the taller man call out to me again. I stilled, almost on instinct.

"You remember where we had coffee yesterday, Yuri? I'll be there, the same time as yesterday, tomorrow. Will I see you there?" It was more of a taunt than an actual question on Victor's part.

I could tell my blush had creeped up to my ears where he could see. This silly, precarious, damn near perverted man was going to be the end of me.

Vicchan had noticed me coming towards his corner and met me half way. He pawed at my lower belly while he stretched out, yipping gleefully at my return. Why couldn't you have come over and saved me from him Vicchan? I clipped the metal link of the leash onto Vicchan's collar before I turned to look at Victor again.

He was resting his hand against his hip while he waited for my response. The potato starch coating Victor's fingers left small white finger prints on the dark cloth covering his upper leg.

I still want to see him more. He terrifies me. I feel so much when I'm near him, which is what really scared me. It was new, and exciting, but I wanted it.

"Yeah, you still owe Vicchan a treat." Victor beamed at my response and waved goodbye from the still sunny bench we had occupied all afternoon. I trotted away, closing the gate behind me once I had hit the fence's edge. Vicchan was already pulling me forward and away from the chain-link barrier and towards home.

I shouldn't have looked back, but when did I ever hold back my responses around my eccentric new friend.

Victor wasn't looking at me lecherously or anything like I had expected in the back of my mind. He was looking down at the last mochi.

His hair covered his eye from my view of his profile so I could only see half of his expression. There was a tender smile there, I wish I could have seen the rest of his features to help decipher this look. Maybe his eyes could have given away a more direct message than that gentle curve of lips alone.

He rolled the red bean treat between his fingers while holding that look. The blue-eyed man slid the treat gradually into his mouth and chewed slowly. His fingers stayed pressed against his lower lip until well after he had swallowed the savory treat. He curled his other arm across his body and turned away from my direction.

My chest felt tight. I felt like I had witnessed something private, almost confidential, from the taller man.

I ended up jogging home. Vicchan ran excitedly behind me, for once I was dragging him. I went quickly past my surprised mother and aggravated sister. I didn't stop until I shut myself in our upstairs bathroom. My vertebrae pressed into the solid back of the closed door, much like I had pressed into the bench this entire afternoon.

What on earth had I done all day today? I didn't quite know what to call it, so I decided not to give it a label.

I felt breathless from my run, from the entire outing, from Victor's want to see me.

I touched my jaw where his hand had traced earlier. I would have to get used to his proximity. All he had to do was fluster me to get me honest. Surprisingly, the thought of being honest with him doesn't bother me; I just wanted to become immune to his ministrations to fluster him instead.

I sank slowly down to the floor, my hand curled into a fist and covered my smile. I really was feeling playful.

He wanted to be able to see me and to read me.

I found myself wanting to understand him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for your support! I didn't mention my thanks in the last chapter update because I rushed it, but I appreciate you all so much. I'll be visiting family next week that doesn't have internet (that still exists somewhere in the world surprisingly) so the next update will be moved to not next week but the one after that!
> 
> It'll be a big chapter (for me) because I want to move this series into its next arc. Everyone have happy holidays and don't forget to leave me a comment on how you feel about the fic


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I return from the middle of backwoods nowhere with a new chapter! My really religious grandmother knew nothing of the homoerotic ice skating fanfiction I was writing on her couch while we talked about faith. It was a beautiful time.
> 
> I know what I'm doing with this story now officially. I have the next 6 chapters or so planned out and they're being drafted now. I should be posting at least once a week with updated chapters now. I apologize ahead of time for any confusion with the timeline of this fic, do with that information what you will.
> 
> T rated chapter ahead
> 
> Warnings: some deep, dank angst, language, and adult themes.

"Yuri!"

I'm always awake when mom calls for me in the morning. It usually takes me a while to gear up for the day anyway, but it's nice to know that someone wants me up. Why exactly it takes me so long depends on the day. I usually overanalyze everything to come, or I'm still stuck in something from the previous day.

I know a large part of my mornings is dedicated to thinking about my mother and my sister. They spend so much time trying, and often failing, to perk me up, trying to make me like I used to be. Mom doesn't really treat me differently from before. She has a lot that she's going through too, so I never feel too upset about it.

I wish it were something more selfless than what it is. I wanted to think about what I could do for them, sometimes I do. I try to be like I used to, but it takes so much more effort now that I can't do it long enough for them to feel comforted.

I flop onto my side and face towards my closed window blinds.

I'm a very selfish person. The only time I try to fight my depression, to get past this black hole in my life, is when I'm scared that everyone will get tired of me. I don't really mind being depressed as a feeling. I just don't want it to chase people away.

I think I'm tired of being depressed. I've been like this for too long now, and it's gotten worse.

I want to go out, to try new things, but I find that I can't. Even when I know I can, I won't. I get more depressed because I feel like my life is running past me and I can't catch up. Everyone begins to think that I don't care, and they leave or they demand I get better.

Even when I do take small steps in the right direction, because that's what it takes, I don't remember how to act around people. I'm terrified that when I go forward that I'll just disappoint them and they'll still leave.

Oddly enough, the only way I could disappoint Victor today was by not showing up. That made getting up easy.

I go through the motions. I slip my pajamas off, fold them, and put them away. I shuck on a pair of dark pants and a plain t-shirt, cut tightly across my torso. I comb my hair with my hands and slip my thick, framed glasses up the bridge of my nose. Socks are pulled above my ankles and I carry my shoes to the door. My bedroom door is shut until it clicks gently as I step into the corridor. My shoes clanked against the door while I held them. They're simple motions, but they're mine.

I trotted down the stairs, bypassing the kitchen and heading to the back door. I set my shoes next to Mari's work boots at the slight step down, where the house met the sliding door. The outside cold seeped through the door and rolled over my feet in a chilly wave of air.

It was already getting this cold and it wasn't even November yet. I turned back to get a jacket and some food.

Vicchan was roaming the house where I couldn't hear. I refilled his water bowl and clanked it against the wood floor. The sound of metal hitting hardwood rang out in the quiet house like a bell. The sound of nails skittering across the floor declared Vicchan's presence before I saw him turn into the hallway. I grabbed and apple and braced myself for Vicchan's jumps.

He slid into the kitchen and ran up to me, scratching my upper legs and stomach while looking up at me. I rubbed his ears and neck. His fur stubbornly curled into his eyes, even after I combed it back.

Vicchan was, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Ever since he was given to me as a birthday present last year I have adored him. He was there when I was happy, when I was sad, and even when I felt nothing.

My energetic pup licked my hand and I leaned close to him. His tongue lapped against my cheek and dug into the shell of my ear when he jumped up to almost hug me. I laughed as his tongue continued its ticklish ministrations. My arms wrapped around him and squeezed gently.

_Thank you for staying with me._

I saw the clock after leaning back up. If we left now we would be a little early, but I had to account for any distractions or detours that Vicchan might have.

It's time to go.

"You've made a friend too, huh Vicchan? Are you ready to go for a walk and visit?" I ask him these questions with higher inflections of my voice, riling the already excited, overgrown puppy. Vicchan backed up and leaned low to the ground readying himself to play, his tail whipping excitedly, full circle, like a helicopter's blades.

I ran over to the backdoor to put on my shoes and grab his leash. He jumped back and forth behind me, making leashing him a damn difficult task. After he was tethered and the door was locked behind me, Vicchan pulled me towards our new friends.

My anxiety and depression have dictated so much, but I'm going to use my family, and my new friends to fight back. I looked up determinedly. I have a long list of small hurdles I need to overcome, and one goal stands out for today.

I wouldn't let Victor down again.

"Yuri, you actually showed up today! You're perfectly punctual too; you really must have felt guilty for making me wait the first time."

Well you didn't have to go and hit the nail on its head with a sledgehammer Victor. Shit. I slumped and must have made a face to convey my feelings because he started chuckling.

I had arrived at the park just before Victor came around the corner with Makkachin. I almost contemplated showing up a little late to see if he was there. I figured he would show up, but I wondered if he had a vindictive streak and would come late.

He was prompt, just as he had promised. I wasn't sure if it was a jab, that he did what he said or that he was being honest and there was no jab at me.

Victor placed his hand and cupped my shoulder in an attempt to comfort the mental sore spot he had prodded. I instinctually jerked to his touch but he held his grip.

"I was teasing you Yuri, no need to feel embarrassed." His tone was playful still and his hand squeezed my shoulder. He didn't mean to poke fun at me, but the guilty shoe fit. I looked down as I chewed the inside of my lip. I don't think I'll ever get used to him touching me so casually. I know he does it to make me honest, and I still feel bad for making him wait. So I'll be honest with him.

"I'm really sorry about not going the first day. Did you wait very long?" I looked up at him nervously. The fringe of my bangs cut off some of my vision but I kept my head low. God, thinking about the guilt and anxiety laden cleaning frenzy and all the questions I had asked in my head that day made me feel like I was suffocating under a blanket of remorse.

Victor's cerulean eyes widened significantly. His hand tightened its grip on my shoulder before he tilted his head with an almost blank expression.

"You feel that badly about running away?" I bristled and turned away from him. Idiot. I felt terrible about it, read a room. It wasn't me running away either, it was me unable to keep up. Before I was able to pull away, those blue eyes were in front of me and holding me in place more than his hand ever could.

"I did wait for a long time, but I'll forgive you, Yuri." The tall man stepped closer to me between his sentences.

"But, I have conditions." Victor's hand had loosened the grip from earlier, but remained on my shoulder still. His thumb was now placed in the hollow created by my clavicle. His fingers curved around to my upper back, cupping more firmly now. Even through my jacket and his leather gloves I could feel his palm's heat.

Wait. Conditions, the plural form of condition, meaning he has more than one thing I have to do? Oh no, what the hell could he want from me?

"First: let me read and learn you." He pulled me closer, or he pushed himself forward. I wasn't sure which, but we were closer, our noses almost touching now. I started breathing faster from surprise and nerves. I couldn't focus on what else he could possibly ask for. Does he mean he wants to touch me more? Does that mean he wanted me to stop blushing when he got too close? All I know is that it involves him and me and touching, that's about it.

That was a hell of a shoe drop, but how big will the next condition be? I didn't give him any indication of a response to that request, still he continued to his next term.

"Second: let me see you and Vicchan here tomorrow." That was more innocent, at least compared to the first request. There was still something I didn't quite understand though. I need to clear something up before he keeps going on and sweeps me away and I get lost in his natural mannerisms.

"Why?" I knew from his expression that I had interrupted the bright eyed man. This guy was happy, well-cultured, the epitome of sensuality, and, if his clothes were anything to go by, loaded. What on earth was he being friendly with me for? What could he get from befriending me?

I had backed up from him after my question. I may be more honest when he's close, but he seems to take me more seriously when I'm farther away. His arms fell to his sides slowly. He took no time at all to answer.

"Because, I like you. Does it need to be any more complex than that?" He smiled so genuinely, so widely, as he spoke. There was no way there was even time for his response to be manipulative or insincere.

He actually liked me.

I took a moment to consider his conditions, his revelation, and the weight behind them. And really, no. Would I like more explanation, as to why he likes me? Yes, yes I would. But for now, in this moment, he doesn't need to have any more reason than that, at least not for me.

I put my hands on my hips, readied my stance, and nodded.

"Alright, I accept the terms and conditions of your forgiveness." I extend my hand out to him to shake on our 'agreement.' I still want to learn him, and I didn't want to disappoint him either. These terms would help me with both. The 'why' of my wants is still unknown. The only thing I have managed to gather is that I want for something I can actually have.

His hand slid into mine and we shook once. Victor must naturally be warm because his palms always felt so hot compared to me. He was smiling that troublesome smile, but I don't pull back or waver my stance. He's about to tease me.

"Agreeing to terms and conditions that you haven't read yet, you are a brave man Yuri."

That may come back to bite me, but not today. Worry and think about that tomorrow morning when you think about every single interaction we've had, Yuri.

"Says the man who can't even read me." I let out the sassy comment on instinct.

"Haha! I'm not literate in Yuri yet, give me some time to learn. Now, let's play with these patient pups." The blue eyed man looked down at both of our dogs. They had curled up together while their owners were busy. Vicchan was laying mostly on the ground while Makkachin was laying mostly on him.

We spent hours at that park playing. It was innocent, pure fun. We didn't talk much that day because we were so out of breath and the dogs demanded our attention every chance they got. After we were soaked in our own sweat from the exertion of our playtime and we couldn't move anymore, we said goodbye. Fortunately farewell kisses were not one of his unannounced terms.

Victor had actually forgotten Vicchan's treat that he supposedly 'owed' him; he promised to bring it tomorrow. I wondered if he would have used that as an excuse to meet with me again if I hadn't made a pact with him. The dog park where we ate mochi was where we were to meet tomorrow. I know he would prod me for 'forgetting' our first date forever, but I would come to find out that he was one of the most forgetful people I'd ever met.

I would learn so much about him over the next month. I would learn a lot about myself too. I think the most surprising fact I realized was that I was genuinely happy being with Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you again for all the comments, bookmarks, and kudos that you guys have given me over the past two months (sorry if these thanks are repetitive, I just really am grateful.) I've never posted my writings anywhere online and the support is super encouraging to my feeble little ego. I hope you guys continue to enjoy your winter breaks and your holidays.
> 
> I'll update soon!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again readers! Here comes my biggest chapter upload yet, 3,200 words! I'm happy to have you all read my delightful little project that's surprisingly survived this long. I had to post this chapter a little earlier because I lost the motivation to work on any new chapters when I had this one in reserve. My procrastination is a powerful beast.
> 
> T rated chapter ahead.
> 
> Warnings: language, VicchanxYuuri action, bonding.

I made it a point to show up at the park punctually again. I wouldn't be late, out of respect, or early, out of self-defense for Victor's possible teasing. I would still show up though. Every time I wondered if he wanted to see me, if I should go, I snuffed out the thought process quickly.

'I like you.'

He was transparent when he told me that, and that was all the proof I needed that he indeed wanted to keep meeting me. I refused to disappoint him again, at least by not showing up.

Now, why he likes me… He didn't give me any explanation or expository information as to why yesterday. I was left to my own head and I rolled answers around in my mind all through the night. I finally came to my own conclusions at dawn.

**#1** : Victor is a foreigner, and he doesn't speak Japanese very well, if at all. Having someone to finally talk to, in a strange, new country, was a relief for the blue-eyed man.

**#2** : I amuse him, rather, my reactions to his proximity made him laugh. I don't know if I was just a joke in general to him, or maybe I reminded him of someone or something else. This idea still needs more information before it can be confirmed.

**#3** : He draws similarities between us. The dogs, the languages we know, and apparently how neither of us let people too close. The idea that Victor, just from the hours that I've spent with him thus far, doesn't let people into his life feels like a lie. He let me close from the moment we met, and there's nothing spectacular about me. He was a bright person, shining out like a beacon because of his mannerisms and attitude. People are drawn to that kind of light like moths.

I had let Vicchan loose in the play space while I waited for my new friend. I stood in the middle of the fenced area while I reviewed my thoughts on Victor. Old thoughts mingled with new ones. What would he bring for Vicchan's treat? Had he met anyone else since he's come here? How many friends did he have? How long had he been in Japan? Would he still like me if he knew I was depressed? Is he like this with everyone, or am I different?

I get pulled from my reverie when Vicchan jumps into me. He sometimes does this thing when he's excited where he leaps into the air like he's flying and expects you to catch him. It's a surprise, face first, trust fall sort of thing. He hasn't done it in so long I wasn't expecting it, and I wasn't paying attention at all.

I wrap my arms around him protectively because I can feel my lack of balance from his attack. We were going down. The firm ground dug into my hip and shoulder making me grunt in pain. Luckily Vicchan was protected, if his tongue in my ear was anything to go by. I smiled and flopped onto my back, releasing my hold on the young dog. Vicchan crawled up my torso, his tail smacking against my still raised arm. He laid across me like a fuzzy seatbelt, strapping me down to the ground from my hip to my shoulder.

He kept licking my face, dirtying my glasses and mussing my hair. I started laughing as his legs pressed into my sides and he nipped at my skin. I began rubbing his sides and scratching behind his ears. Vicchan prefers a fight so I have to reverse psychology him to get him to stop this kind of behavior. If you don't want him to lick you and you push him away, he will give everything he has to be all over you. He dismounted me and ran off, leaving my prone form panting in the stiff grass. I chuckled and leaned up to clean my glasses. Vicchan was always so lovable, especially when it was inconvenient or embarrassing.

When my glasses were cleaned I saw that Victor was standing a few yards away from me, his index finger curled over his smile. Makkachin would prance in place while looking at me, she stood beside a large bag at Victor's left. When I looked back up to Victor he tilted his head and smiled so widely his eyes crinkled at the edges. I felt myself blush at his stare. How long had he been watching me get assaulted by my dog? Did he see me lost in thought too?

Before I could call out to him, his dog charged me, knocking me flat on my back again. At least this time I was sitting on the ground and it wasn't too far of a distance. She didn't scratch like Vicchan does, but she kept her paws flat on my chest. I couldn't move with her leaning on me like that. She was so much heavier that Vicchan! It was like she was politely holding me down while she had her way with me.

She had managed to find the spot below my ear that Vicchan knows better than to prod. I began giggling loudly once she aggressively nudged that small, sensitive area. I was laughing so much my sides hurt and my eyes began to feel wet. I probably looked ridiculous, convulsing on the ground like a maniac. I started gasping and stretched my hand out to Victor for assistance. My hand grasped at his surprisingly close pant leg.

"V-Victor, help." I finally looked up at him through watery eyes and a strained smile. My glasses had been knocked off so everything in the distance was fuzzy. Victor wasn't in the distance now though. The tall man had knelt down in the midst of me being attacked by his poodle. The knee I was holding on to was touching the ground beside me.

"Vniz, Makka." After the soft spoken command I was instantly free of the energetic dog. I just panted on the ground and enjoyed the peace for a moment. My eyes had drifted closed. God his dog looks and acts just like mine, adorable assholes the lot of them. I started snickering, not quite done laughing at the whole situation.

When I finally looked back up at Victor he was still smiling down at me, laughing along with me. His face was pink; somewhere in the midst of my tryst he must have started laughing too. He handed me my glasses, folded and cleaned, after I jerked myself upright.

"I haven't seen her take to anyone like that before. I almost feel jealous, Yuri." He drew out the vowels in my name lazily, his accent giving it a unique lilt. I put my glasses on just in time to see Vicchan tackle Victor with a swan dive. I just began laughing harder and sank back to the ground beside the both of them.

"Vicchan was jealous too it seems." I barely could stutter out a sentence in between the spiels of our laughter.

"I brought presents and treats for you, don't eat me! I have too much to offer you!" Vicchan had resorted to licking up the side of the well-dressed man's head but abruptly stopped. Treats were like treaties of peace when it comes to the effect they can bring on Vicchan. My dog, loyal only to their power, sat patiently by Victor's side, acting like a perfect angel.

Makkachin must have heard her master say 'treats' from across the park and came back to his side immediately. Leaning up, Victor eyed both dogs warily. His hair had been cow-licked up into the air and began to slowly fall back into place, still uneven but less ridiculously than before.

"Yuri, all of their treats are in that bag. Could you go through them? I don't want to give your pup something that he's allergic to or feed him something you didn't want me to. I'll distract the two of them so they won't hassle you." He stood up and dusted himself off before running to the right, both dogs chased after him. They were off to the races and Victor was in the lead.

I walked over to the large insulated bag and opened the Velcro seal at the top.

Good lord, I'm glad that I didn't try to lift it because I would have thrown my back out. The bag looked like a pet store stock room. There was every kind of treat: chicken, pork, beef, salmon, sweet potato, gravy flavored, it was all there. He had hard treats, chewables, actual bones, and small pieces of actual meat in sealed containers that looked like bentos for dogs.

This must have cost a fortune. These treats were high quality, and there were a lot of them here. Why would he go to all of this trouble? I know he isn't giving me all of this, but the variety was done for me and Vicchan.

Underneath the treats were a plethora of toys, balls, stuffed animals, and imitation rawhide. There was also a small wrapped container in the center of the bag, hidden by the toys but not quite at the bottom of the bag. It was wrapped in cloth but I could feel hard edges through the fabric. It was the only item without a label.

I dug it out gently. There were separate parts that disconnected due to the cloth not being tied tightly, but nothing fell out or away. Once I righted it, I sat on my heels to peel back the cloth covering.

It was the bento I had brought the red bean mochi in last time.

"Open it up." I almost dropped the box from how hard I jerked in surprise. Victor had returned to this side of park. The dogs were off playing with each other and a new, smaller companion. He was breathing heavily through his nose. The foreign man must have gotten hot because his thick cream colored jacket he always wore was folded under his arm to reveal a long-sleeved, black sweater.

I opened the small container to see 10 different colored mochi. Each was cut and faced towards its matching half like they were facing mirrors. I could recognize some of the flavors by their color and filling texture, but some were a mystery.

He brought me a treat too?

"I found these at a shop near my hotel. They're not homemade like yours were, and I'm not sure if they're any good, but I wanted to bring you something as thanks." Thank me? What did he want to thank me for? I made him wait out in the cold, knocked him to the ground, I even had him buy me and my dog an apology gift. I glanced up at him, he had knelt down to get closer to me. His eyes bore into me.

"I thought you had given them to me to break the tension that day, which maybe you did that too, but it took me a while to realize that you made them specifically for me. When I saw how guilty you were yesterday, after I brought it up jokingly, I figured it out. You made those red bean mochi for me, knowing they were something I'd never had as a foreigner to Japan. It was a hard treat to make, one that took time. Even the flavor was for me." Victor was looking down at the mochi near the end of his statement. The bento was moving from how hard my hands were shaking.

He figured me out.

"After skipping our meeting you made these to say sorry. I'm thankful for your thoughtfulness, and I bought these to say thank you." His hands cupped my own that were clinging to the sides of the small bento. For once his hands felt colder than my own. Was I blushing that fiercely? My face felt hot from how he stated my intentions so calmly, so carefully, to my face. He wasn't weirded out, my motive wasn't one that bothered him, and he actually appreciated it.

That… That was so nice.

I tilt my head up to him confidently and smiled with all of the happiness that I felt. I want to share more of these gestures. I want to give him more gifts, and to get gifts in return.

I hoped that my intentions could be read in my motions and my actions, just like with the gift of mochi, even if my words didn't explicitly say them. I know that I'm too nervous or shy to say some things right now. I need more time with him before I can be comfortable enough to express myself more honestly. Just because I hadn't scared him off yet doesn't mean I'm free to be wholeheartedly honest.

"Share them with me." I found myself speaking the same words that he had said to me before. "You went through the trouble of cutting them in half so it's just right for two." As I spoke I nodded slightly.

"Oh, I cut them so you could see the flavors in the filling, in case you didn't like some. Don't feel pressured to share them; they're yours." He released his hold on my hands and closed his eyes complacently. He wasn't getting closer to me or teasing me like he normally would.

I would actually prefer if he ate these with me.

"Do you not want to share with me?" This is weird, I thought he liked mochi. We'd shared the same food once before so I figured there wouldn't be a problem. Stop changing it up on me Victor, I'm trying to get used to you.

"N-no, I just want you to enjoy your present." He seemed shocked by my forwardness, I don't blame him. I was happy and he hadn't seen me like this yet.

"Did sharing your mochi with me the other day make you like the gift less?" The other day was no different than today, besides the switch in our roles of giving and receiving gifts. Was he bothered that day, and did he offer to share out of formality, not expecting me to take him up on it? My eyes drifted downward as I thought. I looked back up when he responded loudly.

"No! It made me enjoy the afternoon and the mochi more when I shared them with you." His blue eyes widened more while he shook his head to deny my soft spoken question. I pushed down the urge to smile after his admission.

I wonder how suave Victor is to people he really wanted to impress, because he's really good at saying the right thing to me.

"You said yourself that we're similar. Maybe I'll be even happier about your gift if you stopped trying to be polite and ate with me." I watched his face while I verbally goaded him. It was fun turning the tables on him for a little bit. I doubt I could keep up for very long so I'll enjoy the upper hand while I have it.

Victor smiled softly, it was almost shy. He nodded, finally agreeing to my request. We walked over to the bench we'd practically adopted after he lifted the heavy bag of toys with ease. My steady hands opened the small bento after I set it on my lap. I angled my legs towards him while balancing the mocha. Fortunately they were tightly packed and didn't mix their flavors.

"Now, I can't tell what all of them are so we're just going to find out as we go. I'll choose first." I immediately grabbed the black and white speckled mochi from the center of the selection. They were a little below room temperature due to the cold weather so the outermost layer of the mochi was a bit more stiff than usual. I quickly explained to the taller man how to hold the mochi to get it warmer in his hand for a better texture.

He ripped off the leather glove from his left hand and held the bite-sized treat in his hand as soon as I spoke. I never really noticed how pale he was until I saw the contrast of the light colored snack to his palm, or the lack thereof. He looked like he was made for winter, ashy blonde hair, icy blue eyes, and porcelain skin. The only source of color on him was the pale pinkness of his fingertips, pink lips, and the flush along his cheeks and nose.

"Do you know which one this is?" Victor asked me while never taking his eyes off of the mochi. He was staring so hard, I could practically hear the cogs of his mind working to tease out the flavor.

"Yeah, you've probably had this flavor but you'll never guess it just by looking at it." It was a sesame mochi, they tend to be nutty with a subtle sweet aftertaste, he may hate it but it was one of those you like it or you don't type of flavors. It was also the most foreign in appearance of all the mochi and he looked at it as such.

I plopped it into my mouth before he could ask more questions or delay. He followed suit immediately after me. He chewed inquisitively with a strange expression. I couldn't tell if he liked or hated it. Before I could finish chewing he spoke.

"What is this? I thought it would taste like a fruit, but this is not fruity at all. It's good, but I just was not expecting the flavor." He asked while the mochi was still in his mouth, unable to part with it until he heard the flavor's identity.

"It's sesame flavored." I swallowed the rest of it before I replied to him.

"Whaaa~t?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone has a great new year. Please drop a comment if there is any error with my grammar or if you see something you like/dislike about the chapter. I think the only, barely there, regret that I have with this story is that I can't make it spicy, because they have to love each other first. *sigh*


	8. Chapter Eight

 

“I don’t think I can move my legs.”  Victor huffed out this statement after we played with the dogs and their new toys for more than an hour.  He plopped down on the bench hard enough to shake it and languidly stretched his limbs out in front of him.

I sat beside him and relished in the satisfaction of finally relaxing my aching legs.  This was the start of one of our many breaks to come in this afternoon’s playdate. 

It had taken us four days to get through the entire bag he had brought as Vicchan’s treat.  Four of the shortest, long days of my year.  Every day we sprinted with the pups, spoiling them with attention and treats.   Even when we were sore, wrung out, and mere husks of who we once were, we still played.  I was impressed that I’d actually shown up every day. 

“Who was it that insisted that we play with everything in the bag?  That bag really was ridiculous, it felt bottomless.”  I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees, like leaning on my bent legs will give me enough energy to keep up with him.

“Aww, are you tired of me and Makkachin, Yuri?  Here I was, thinking you were having a great time.”  The tall man puffed out his cheeks and pouted pitifully at me, putting on a ridiculous expression.

I scoffed at his statement, his dramatic declarations were far too easy to see through.  Now, at least, the first day I wasn’t sure if he when he was joking or when he was serious.  Victor was one of the most dramatic people I’d ever met.  After seeing him play for hours on end, and talking with him for even longer, I knew that much. 

I thought Phichit, with a major in theatrical arts and a dream to be a director, was the most dramatic person I could deal with.  Naturally, Victor had to go and change how I thought I could handle everything. 

I eyed the quiet man while I stretched out my legs.  He was looking over at Vicchan who was flopped onto his back and spread out.  He looked more like melting cheese than a poodle.  I sighed at my dog’s behavior and snickered when he scratched his back by squirming against the ground.  Somehow he spread his limbs even further, looking flattened and utterly spent.  It’s been a long while since I had seen him this tired.

“Vicchan has so much energy I thought he would never wear out.  I guess the consistent days of play finally got to him.”  Victor turned to face me after voicing his observation of his name-shared companion.  The foreign man’s hair flared out from how quickly he swiveled to face me.

“I’m more impressed that Makkachin kept up with him for so long.  She’s the first dog I’ve met that can match him.”  That wasn’t a lie, dogs younger or older than Vicchan were always left in the dust panting.  Every day except yesterday she ran and fought with him.  Today her energy was back in full.  Her tail wagged fiercely behind her as she eyed the two of us sitting on the bench.

“Yeah, she’s already six years old.  I can hardly believe that I’ve had her for so long.  Her acting as spry as she does helps me lose track of her age though.”  I looked at his smiling visage with widened eyes.

“Six years?”  Wow, I thought she was maybe two or three.  That means Victor had been taking care of his dog, taking her all over the world with him, for six years.  It was admirable to see that kind of devotion to a pet.  I couldn’t help but be curious about how he interacted with his pet.  “None of her mannerisms have changed since she was a puppy then?”

“No, I bought her when she was four months old and she hasn’t changed a bit.”  Victor moved his gaze skyward as he began his nostalgic musings.  “I guess she’s become less destructive if anything, but that’s just because I curb her energy.”

The taller man leaned back on the bench to get more comfortable before he continued the story of how he and Makkachin first met.  His eyes closed as he started their tale.

“I wasn’t planning on buying a dog when I found her.  There was this little shop that I would always walk past on my way back from work, but I never looked in.  I only noticed it because of a big crowd around it one day.  I looked past the window and saw all these baby poodles in the front display of the pet shop, not even three months old.” 

The man’s voice had dropped significantly in volume while he spoke.  The speed of his rambling also slowed at the end of his sentence.  Was he falling asleep?  I scooted closer to hear him more clearly.

“Of course I wanted one the moment I saw them.  Living alone got rather lonely some days, so I convinced myself that having a pet was the perfect solution.  I ran in the store and began collecting all of the supplies any dog would need before I picked one of them out.  I was so excited, moving around so quickly, that I wasn’t watching where I was going and slipped in the back of the store.” 

I couldn’t help but chuckle along with the half comatose man.  I could easily see a younger, energetic Victor bouncing off the walls, so much like the puppy he was about to adopt.

“I actually slipped on newspaper, so me being overenthusiastic wasn’t entirely to blame.”  He grumbled out the information to try to defend himself.  I started laughing earnestly and he continued.

“There were a few cages in the back, out of sight from all the other animals.  The newspaper was being flung out of one of the top cages, like torn up confetti.  When I looked in, all I saw was a bigger pile of shredded and chewed newspaper with a little brown tail.”

There was a nudge against the inside of my knee.  It took everything I had not to squeal from surprise.  Was that his hand?  I didn’t think I could tense any more than before until that thought passed my mind.  Victor kept telling his story, doting on how the puppy finally emerged from the self-made stealth mountain, like nothing had happened. 

I’ll just ignore it, he’s tired and his arm slipped. 

The indignant huff and nudge against my thigh finally made me look down.  Makkachin was looking expectantly at me, waiting to be doted on.  I almost melted from relief.  I scratched and rubbed her chin, and I began again to listen to Victor’s anecdote.

“I asked about her while I filled out the proper forms.  They said ripping apart everything in her cage was a common bad habit of hers, so they pulled her out of the front window because it didn’t look good.  She was shoved in a cage, away from her siblings, because of her behavior.”  Victor’s voice didn’t change, despite how chilly the words were.  I felt something come down to rest on my shoulder after he spoke. 

Well that definitely couldn’t be Makkachin.

I didn’t want to turn, knowing that I would have a face full of fluffy, layered hair if I did.  He always touched me at some point during our playdates.  The past four days showed the pattern.  This felt different though, he was always full of energy before.  Not to mention, his touches weren’t this familiar since the day we had met.  His story was even unlike the others, I should have seen a different sort of touch coming. 

I couldn’t help my eyes darting back and forth to see if anyone was looking at us.  My neck was so tense that I couldn’t turn my head, or I was too scared of accidentally shifting closer to him.  I had moved closer on my own to hear the low baritone of his voice earlier, bad move. 

“She was as alone as I felt.  I was learning English, so I didn’t have anyone to talk to in London.  It was terrible for a few months.  In the end I got Makkachin, and that was worth much more than feeling like I was almost stranded in a strange new country for a few months.”  He smiled gently, the only signal besides his voice that he was conscious.  I didn’t linger on the fact that I felt him smile rather than saw it.

I felt my stomach clench after his words really sunk in.  This sounded exactly like the situation he’s in now. 

Was I… Was I the new Makkachin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope I didn’t keep anyone waiting too long.  I thought I could update quickly, but that was a lie I kept telling myself as Stardew Valley and Slime Rancher started ruining/improving my life this past week.  I have the next chapter written out some so I should update within the next 4-5 days.  I hope you all enjoy the first in the series of fluffy dates between these two.   
> I also want to thank you all for reading my little creation, I really appreciate that you all are here.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello fanfiction readers one and all, I hope you are doing well. I apologize for the delay in my update. I said that I would have it earlier, but this chapter DESTROYED me. I just couldn't get down what I wanted from it and rewrote it, probably four times. Anyways, please enjoy!

I wasn’t sure what I should be feeling. 

I had assumed the main reason that Victor ‘liked’ me was because I was the only person he knew that he could actually talk to in Japan.  I predicted something about him, it was something obvious, but I should be feeling some kind of relief for having figured the strange man’s intentions out.

I didn’t know how to feel other than uncomfortable, and I didn’t know why.

From experience I knew that having someone was better than no one.  I was never truly alone, my mother and my sister stood by me more solidly than anyone and they aren’t the only people in my life.  But I’ve felt it.  I learned quickly that feeling nothing was easier than feeling upset over people who aren’t there anymore. 

As for getting out of that mentality, I’m _still_ trying.  My hands clenched the fabric of my pants until they were pulled taught across my legs. 

Did that mean Victor and I really were similar, even with this?  Would he eventually be like me, feel nothing like I’m trying not to?  Would he run away one day?

Coming and seeing Victor at the park every day helped me get up each morning for the last week.  If he’s using me to feel better, to stop feeling lonely, he and I really weren’t that different.  I refuse to accept the possibility of him leaving for the same reasons that I had.  I wouldn’t let him.

Victor wouldn’t disappoint me.  Even if his motivations were purely selfish, so were mine.  I came to the park because being near him made me feel again.  Being near him made me want to reach out and understand people again, rather than just guess their motivations. 

Now that I have him figured out, now that I know why he likes me, I can’t help but hate being right about people.  I felt livid.  The blue-eyed man must not have felt the tenseness in my shoulder because he stayed, leaning calmly against my side, and talked softly still.

“Makkachin has done so much for me; I sincerely doubt I could ever repay her in full for the value that she’s brought to my life.  She helped me learn about the value of platonic love.  She’s made that loneliness in me disappear for six years, no matter the city, state, or country.  She’s helped me grow as a person.”  He spoke these praises to his dog while she burrowed closer to my thigh. 

My eyes were staring somewhere above the older man’s dog, my neck still refusing to turn.  Makkachin’s curled brown fur was already easy for me to tell apart from my own dog, despite how similar they were.  I reached out to the older dog as I began to ponder the new information Victor had given me.

If Makkachin had gotten rid of that loneliness Victor described, then he wouldn’t be talking to me.  What he did and what he said he feels, are different.  So what he gets from me has to be different than what he gets from Makkachin, right? 

“On top of all of that, she helped me get closer to you.  I would have never found you without her help, let alone become friends with you.”  I was so deep in my thoughts, trying to digest his words, that I didn’t notice the other hand caressing Makkachin until our fingers slid past one another. 

He thought of me as a friend.

At last my neck jerked towards him.  I was surprised to find that he wasn’t looking at me.  Usually he likes to see my responses to his statements, especially when they were embarrassing or bold.  Instead the blonde man was sitting up, eyes looking to his dog, with pink cheeks.

Realization came up on me like a slap in the face: he was the embarrassed one.  Maybe because of the words themselves, or how personal he got from out of nowhere; I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t care.  Embarrassment usually comes from being sincere, and those statements spoke volumes about his character and what he thought of me.

There’s a lot more to Victor than I had assumed from the moment I had met him.  It was curious how the more I learned about him, the more curious I got.  I’d have to think on _that_ more, later.  Now it was time for give and take.

“I-I could say the same of Vicchan.”  He turned his head slowly to me after my admission following the short silence.  I couldn’t hold eye contact with him for very long.  It felt like the weight of my words themselves brought my gaze towards Makkachin once more.  Sincerity was a surprisingly heavy burden.

“I’ve gone through a rough patch for the past few months.  Without him I doubt I would have left the house most days.  He’s been there for me when I needed to know that someone was there, even if he’s just a dog.  I have my family for support, but it’s different with Vicchan, less assuming.  Like you said, dogs have a way of loving all their own.”  My hand hadn’t stopped rubbing Makkachin since Victor’s fingers had touched my own, not that the spoiled pup seemed to mind.

“It’s such a selfless kind of love.  We have much to learn from them, neh Yuri?” His voice had finally risen back up to its regular volume after leaning back into the bench.  The playful tone in his voice and way his arm slid behind my side of the bench showed that Victor was reverting back to how he normally was.  My back tensed from the brush of his fingers through the bench slats. 

That was more like the Victor I knew.  Maybe I did something right then.

I shifted to tell him more about Vicchan, but I couldn’t get the words out before I was pushed roughly into the bench.

I spoke of the devil and the devil was awakened, and tired of being ignored.  Victor’s laugh rang out while he helped settle my ridiculous pet down.  Naturally Vicchan sprawled across both of our laps and licked my knee, seeming pleased with his new, padded nap area.

We looked at each other, now tethered together by my dog, and knew that neither of us had the heart to move him.  On top of that Makkachin jumped onto the bench, shoved her face into the remaining space on my lap, and yawned.

“So, since we’ll be stuck here a while, how’d you find Vicchan?”  Victor casually wrapped his arm around my shoulder and brought himself flush against my left side, encasing me entirely.  He leaned his head towards me with closed eyes and a smile.  His breath fanned across my ear, and I squealed.

Too much.

* * *

 

I eventually got home after sunset.  Regaling Victor how Vicchan was given to me led to him him asking all about my family, making our date run far past what we expected and into the late afternoon.  After setting Vicchan free in the house and taking my shoes off, I traced the ripples in the stairway’s wallpaper with my index finger.

My dad had a flair for surprises, and Vicchan’s arrival was one of his best.  It doesn’t feel like too long ago that I ran up these stairs, fearing my father’s wrath after being told to clean the bathroom, only to find a puppy in our bathtub instead of a mess.  Victor was impressed by my old man’s tactics, he looked like a student hearing tales of the master of tricks. 

“Yuri!  I went through a pack and a half looking for you, you dick!  Where were you?”  Mari rounded the corner like a horror movie’s antagonist and slapped the back of my head roughly.  Fortunately she didn’t hit me hard enough to give me a painful memory of these stairs.

“Mari, gah, when did you get lead implants in your hands?!”  She whipped me around and glanced me over, looking for damage I suppose.  The only damage she would find was the man-sized handprint she left in my skull.

“You were gone for five hours!”  She dragged me up the landing while she spoke. 

It had been that long?

“I was playing with Vicchan, release me.”  I wormed my arm out of her hold and began walking to the bath.  She wouldn’t follow me there.

“I don’t doubt that dog’s energy but you don’t have the stamina to keep up with him, Thickness.”  She held the door shut with her bear claw of a hand and soul stared me, trying to intimidate me into giving her an answer.

“Thickness, really?”  My eyebrow raised at her insult.  She just eyed me inquisitively, twitching slightly from my lack of response.  This is going nowhere.  I sighed and leaned against the bathroom’s door frame to look at her.

“I was out at the dog park with my friend and I lost track of time.”  She stepped back from the entryway with a shocked expression.  Good, now I can get the door open.  There wasn’t an objection as I opened the door and walked through.  Mari spoke just as the door was shutting behind me though.

“Oh.”  Her statement was drawled out.  “Is she cute?” I bristled visibly, of course she would jump to that.

“HE is none of your business, now let me shower!”  I spun around to glare at her before I shut the door quickly, locking it for peace of mind.  I ripped my shirt off and flung it to the corner.  Honestly, Mari’s teasing shouldn’t get to me this much.  I bend down to turn the water on and stop when I hear my sister shuffle outside of the door.

“I’m glad you’re safe, Yuri.”  The sound of her footsteps faded as she walked down the hallway, towards her room.

You don’t have to babysit me, Mari.  I already know how much you care, and I could never do what you’re scared of.  I’m far too selfish.

The bath filled as I scrubbed and rinsed away the dirt, grass, and sweat that had clung to me all afternoon.  An afternoon of fun, spent with my friend, who I would meet again tomorrow.  The sudsy washcloth slid down my shoulder as a stilled.

I had been totally, wholly wrong about the blue-eyed man, especially today.  God, what the hell had gone through my head today?

I twisted the cloth to dry it some before laying it on my forehead and sinking into the lukewarm bath.  I gazed up at the soft white ceiling and repositioned my legs to get more comfortable.  I would ponder all this for a while.

I had jumped to every wrong conclusion.  I got mad about those conclusions too.  Just because he spends time with me I assumed that it was him thinking of me like his pet.  My self-esteem is low, I can’t deny that, but that was a pretty toxic thought process.  Not to mention it didn’t make sense because Victor wasn’t really a lonely person.  He was a whole person, just looking to connect with people. 

I have never acted this completely, utterly, irrationally out of character before.  What was it that ran through my mind?

‘Victor wouldn’t disappoint me.’

Well that’s a loaded sentence, what the hell do I want from him then?  My body slid deeper into the water, letting the surface come up to rest just under my nose.  I let my thoughts settle and sat in the calm to focus on my answer.

_Stay close to me._

I hug my knees to hide my blushing face from my own realization. 

_Don’t go._


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! The new chapter is up, I'm dead inside from the first week of classes and taking an MCAT, but I'm still here. I hope the new year is treating everyone well and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

 “Oh it’s so cute!”  The table shook when Victor’s hands slammed on the wobbly surface in excitement.  The Russian man leaned down and eyed the small mountain of edible decorations on my hot cocoa.  “Have you ever gotten the other flavors?  Do they have different designs?”  He popped up with renewed energy.

Our waitress stepped slowly away from the small outdoor table and the tall man’s loud exclamations.  I smiled pityingly towards our server; Victor was eccentric and I knew it could put people off. 

I’m surprised at how easy it’s been to be with him since my realization a few days ago.  I thought I would be terribly awkward, but I guess honesty was the best policy.  I never thought that being more honest with myself was something that I wasn’t already doing, or that it would help me this much.

Today was different than our usual.  Not only did we choose another location, but a new time as well.  Victor had meetings for the next few days that would have conflicted with our midday and early afternoon playdates.  We agreed to meet at the coffee shop where we chatted on that first, horribly uncomfortable day, in the late afternoon instead.

The change in time was another opportunity for me to leave, to distance myself from Victor.  Getting this close to someone, this fast, was risky.  I could have told him that no other time would have worked for me, that we would see each other in a few days instead. 

Could I have really though?

Seeing Victor both giddy and downtrodden at the prospect of his job starting up again, because it would make him miss our meetings, felt like a punch to the throat.  My awkward sputtering made that simile all the more accurate. 

I also didn’t want to stop the rhythm of my days.  He was a part of the simple motions now, and they help me function.  So not seeing him wasn’t going to work for me.

I pulled the wide-rimmed mug to the center of the table and turned it so he could see all sides of the warm drink.  He dipped forward, leaning on his elbows and sitting down at last.  He couldn’t take his eyes off of the confectionary bliss.  I wouldn’t put it past him to turn around and order one for himself, he looked that enamored.  I snickered at his mannerisms and finally answered him.

“I’ve had each flavor, but this one’s my favorite.”  The whipped topping had smeared onto my palm and thumb after moving the cup.  “It’s is also the cutest.”  I ended my statement by licking the strip of cream off my hand.  That wasn’t an exaggeration, all the white chocolate decorations, wafer straws, and chocolate shavings made for a formidable level of adorable and tasty.

I plucked a straw out of its whipped pedestal and broke it in half, offering a piece to Victor.  The tall man popped the treat into his mouth and chewed quickly.  His smile shortly followed the tasting.

“Приятный, very tasty.”  Victor often slipped Russian into his statements now, either it was a common habit or he was getting more relaxed around me.  It was hard to read Victor still so I couldn’t determine that for sure. 

Ever since he told me about his adventures in his home town of St. Petersburg his accent clicked and I started researching his native language.  It would be nice to understand him or eventually speak it for him.  Languages came quickly to me anyways.

Home is an easy place to miss.  A reminder, even a simple phrase, could bring you back there.  I wouldn’t attempt anything yet of course.  I didn’t know the words to say, and the ghastly pronunciation I would have was enough to deter me.

“We could have come here more often if I knew you liked something specific.”  Victor had reclined to stir the cream and sugar into his coffee.  Four sugar packets and three creamers later had his coffee close to the sweetness of my hot cocoa.  He paused for a moment and furrowed his brows, looking confused.  “If you liked the cocoas, why didn’t you order them when we first came here?”  His eyes locked with mine curiously.

“W-well coffee is cheaper than their cocoas, and you were paying.”  I don’t know why I felt embarrassed, it was just the polite thing to do at the time.  He had even invited me specifically for coffee too.  We didn’t know each other then.  His wide-eyed stare made me push my hands to my lap and stiffen some.  What was with that look?

“Aww~.”  The saddened lilt in his voice matched the almost defeated way that Victor dropped his chin onto his raised fist.  His eyes lifted to meet mine.  He huffed out a breath and pouted, pushing his cheek out in the process.  “I would have rather you got something you wanted, Yuri.”

My fingers looped into the large mug’s handle as I finally pulled it up to take a drink.  Well if he felt that bad about it he could buy me another one. 

That would be another excuse to make him meet with me tomorrow.  Would asking him to pay for me be too bold?  I’m not sure about Victor’s money situation, but I do know how he is.

Even if he was dirt poor he would still try to pay for someone, and I don’t want to ask much of him if that’s the case. 

“I suppose I’ll have to just buy you a cocoa tomorrow then, neh?”  The blue-eyed man had tilted his head and asked in a low voice.  His half-lidded gaze complemented the lazy smile he held.  His hair fell in pieces and rested against the palm he was leaning on, showing all of his face. 

Holy shit, how does he do that?  I set my cup down slowly and looked down at it. 

Well there was an excuse to meet him tomorrow and I didn’t even have to ask.  But… I didn’t feel quite right.  My hands stiffened minutely around the cup cradled in my grasp.

Every single time we’ve met it’s because he says he supposedly owes me something.  If anything, I owe him.  He’s always been thoughtful and generous to me and even to my dog.  Was this really just the type of person Victor was?  He doesn’t have some debt to be paid. 

Plus there’s always that never ending anxiousness pitted in my fear that Victor is doing this out of pity or just because he’s nice.  I’m trying to distance myself from all of that, but damn does it linger.

He began speaking while I was still looking down.

“Actually, how about you take me to your favorite restaurant and I’ll buy you what you want there?  Since we’ve moved our dates we could easily do dinner now.”  He soon dropped his arm he was leaning against to the table, resting it a few inches from mine.  The table was rather small, not even three feet wide, so touching was unavoidable for him.  I spoke out before he could begin to make plans for us.

“You don’t have to.”  My fingers rubbed the cooling porcelain of my drink.

“Hmm?”  I didn’t look up at him until I set my resolve and started speaking.  I didn’t want him to feel bad around me, to feel like he should spend time with me because he has to.

“You don’t have to buy anything for me.  You always do this thing where every time we meet it’s because you think you owe me or to repay me for something that really doesn’t need repaying.  You don’t owe me anything.”  I steadied my hands by pressing them into the table so if they began to shake, my cocoa wouldn’t be a casualty of my nerves.  His response was as quick, as his usually were.

“I know I don’t really have to, but I want to buy you dinner.”  Oh. 

His hands nudged my own and I slowly looked back up to him.  I knew I was blushing from his statement, or maybe his hands wrapping around my wrists made me flush.  The shadow of the restaurant cast itself over the table long before we had arrived.  It gave a false sense of privacy and served to bring more life to the colors it covered.  I never realized that his hair was silver.

“I want to share a good meal with you, Yuri.  I want to go to all of your favorite places in this town, together.  I want to learn what you like and dislike.”  He clenched his hand and rolled my forearm, making my palms face upwards.  I could feel sugar crystals rub into the back of my left hand as Victor’s own wrists pressed into my palms.

He stared at me, waiting patiently for my response to his invitation… This man…

I doubt I could put this feeling into words, in his language or my own. 

My eyes had never left his, even as I smiled.  I could see how bright his eyes became when I squeezed his wrists back, the soft pink that bloomed across his face when I smiled in return, and the tilted smile that stretched slowly when I nodded.  It was a silent affirmation, and it was all that we needed.

The silver haired man looked to the side when he spoke next.  Still he kept his hands securely around my wrists.

“If you’d rather, I could just ask you out more directly from now on.  That sort of ruins my cool guy persona though.”  I let out a bark of laughter at this.  Victor’s head snapped back to me, looking surprised.

Like being more direct isn’t a part of your persona.  

His stunned expression made me laugh harder.

“What?  I’m cool.”  He muttered the statement like an addendum to his previous one.  That wasn’t even what I was laughing at, but damn if it didn’t get funny fast.

Right as he spoke, our waiter had returned.  I locked eyes with the server and I couldn’t help it.  Her expression was so tense as she covered her mouth and tried to keep a straight face.

I snorted from laughing so hard.

* * *

We ended up deciding on a nearby ramen stand for tomorrow’s dinner.  It was a little ways from the coffee shop, but close enough for me to show it to him before nightfall.  I didn’t exactly trust Victor’s sense of direction just yet, even if he said it was between his apartment and the café. 

He had run off excitedly after seeing the small, open-air stand’s location.  His response was: “I want to keep tomorrow a true surprise for myself.”

I chuckled at his excitable attitude.  I’m glad he liked ramen, I’d been craving it for ages.

When I slid the back door closed and kicked my shoes off, I sat down to take a breath.  It was a surprisingly short day.  My hand slid over my wrist as I traced my fingertips up and down the thin skin there.

He really was touchy.

“Yo, Yuri!  Are you helping mom in the kitchen or the front room?”  Mari poked her head out from the door I had just closed.  My fingers stilled their motions and I sighed.

Well that’s as long as my breather is going to be.  I stared up indignantly at my sister.

“I’ve got the kitchen.”  She raised her eyebrows at my declaration and let a pause swell between us.

“You’re going to help us AND you’re smiling?  What’s got you in a good mood?  Is it your new ‘friend’?”  As she spoke she moved across the room to sit next to me.  Her eyebrows waggled suggestively, again insinuating everything from nothing.

“He is my friend, just my friend, and that’s more than I could have ever asked for.”  I folded my arms and gave my best stern face. 

Mari is important to me, and she always will be.  I’ll always let her into my life, but only a little on this subject.  I just wasn’t quite ready to share Victor with her yet.  I would die before she ran out of things to tease me about.  He hasn’t gotten tired of me yet, but that doesn’t mean he won’t.  It’s too early.

It’s a curious thing though.  I touched my mouth gently and felt my now parted lips.

When had I started smiling?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a comment or send me a message. I live for that shit.


	11. Chapter Eleven

It had been barely over a week.

I had only known Victor for nine days.  I laid back in my bed while I began to analyze each of our interactions when the fact came to me. 

It seemed like so much of my life had changed since then.  It was terrifying if I thought about his influence over me. 

The hours we spent together, the conversations, the laughter, it all felt like it came from weeks of knowing Victor.  It felt like an invested relationship that took months to form, rather than one created in days that could be counted on fingers.  Trust really couldn’t be formed this quickly, and it shouldn’t be able to.

Maybe it was because I never got close to people without the environment of a school or shared extracurricular activity, but it feels like he should mean less to me.  I felt aggravated all of a sudden. 

What did I really know about Victor anyway? 

Why is he in Japan?  Where is his family?  What does he do for a living?  How long is he going to stay here?  Would he have to leave soon?

I don’t even know his last name.

It was too fast, and too much.

My hands pushed coarsely through my hair and scrubbed roughly against my scalp.  My nails felt sharp on my skin, but the pain didn’t stop my fingers pressure. 

I was thinking about learning Russian for Christ’s sake.  I even thought it was a normal and good idea on my part.  Learning a language for someone who was still just a stranger, how creepy was that? 

I pull my hands out of my tangled hair and sit upright quickly.  My neutral expression sat numbly on my face.  It’s still so exciting, even when he doesn’t get all touchy and flirty.  My nervousness may have begun to override the good that I get from being near him, and I don’t know if being near him will be easy. 

Being near him felt like riding a rollercoaster that left me with motion sickness only after I got back to solid ground, away from him.  I knew his personality, and it wasn’t like Victor was a bad person.  At least from what I knew he wasn’t a bad person.  I just feel so confused when I get a moment to think about him.  Mostly it’s what I think of him and how I respond that is so confusing.

I’ve worried about my out of character actions before, but I never answered the question of ‘why’ they began.  Did I want to be more like Victor?

But, maybe I’m thinking too much about all of this.  I huffed in exasperation at my own train of thought.  I just need to stop being so familiar with him, for a start.  It’s funny that I was worried about him because of his familiarity but I was just as bad.  Then I can start thinking about my actions and responses before committing to them wholeheartedly in front of the exuberant Russian.

I touched my wrist and began to blush fiercely.  That feeling from yesterday after he asked me to spend more time with him was terrifying.  He looked at me with such a soft and understanding gaze, saying things that sound like a confession, all while he kept me grounded with a firm and gentle touch.  I felt my pulse jump in the small veins of my wrist when I remembered how firmly I held him in return.

Kill me now.  We probably looked like poster children for dramatic, public displays of affection; I want to curl up and hide from secondhand embarrassment at our behavior, at my response.  I stare up and out of my window after falling back to the bed in a defeated slump.

I wanted to cancel our dinner.  I paused heavily as I considered it.

What was the chance of me ever meeting Victor again though?  I didn’t have any way to contact him, no phone, no address, nothing.  There was only the slight chance of running into him at the parks we’d been to before. 

I’d also already avoided him once and felt God awful about it during, and after the entire avoidance.  My stomach clenched at the memory, almost making me lurch forward.  He had waited for me then.  My hand wrapped tightly around my forearm to help bring me back.

Even if I needed to back off, I wasn’t willing to risk not meeting him again because I felt nervous about my previous and possible future actions. 

He was my friend, even if he wasn’t that close of a friend.  I had made up my mind to try not to disappoint him, to try to not let depression dictate my social life anymore.  At the very least I don’t treat my friends like they’re forgettable, or like they don’t matter.  I know that that is the most out of character thing I could have done in this situation.

Maybe it’s because Victor’s been the only one I’ve really been socializing with for the past week that it’s all a little off kilter.

I needed to call Phichit.  I hadn’t heard from the young visual arts major in almost a month now that I think about it.  He distanced himself some after last semester, even if it was unintentional on his part.  Even if I somehow pushed him away.  I missed him.

Phichit was my best friend.  Victor was my new friend.  I could stand to treat both of them better.

My arm flailed above my head until it wacked my phone from my bed frame, onto my face.  I pulled the screen up to text Phichit and ask when we could talk in the next few days.  My nose throbbed from my phone’s impact while I typed.  It was a short distance for the device to fall but damn does it gain momentum. 

I suppose I should get dressed for dinner instead of just wallowing in my thoughts.  The chilly wood felt pleasant when my feet connected solidly with it.  It really was getting colder.

The loud guinea pig squeal startled me to look back at my phone.  Phichit responded a lot faster than I thought he would.  I was never ready for his notification tone, it always spooked me.

‘Boi, you best believe we’re going to video chat until like 2 am.  I can’t talk now but I’ll text you when I’m free :P’

I smiled and stood up.  It was time to run through the motions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I can't keep an constant update schedule for chapters that are just above 1,000 words. Bless all of you who are still reading.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for coming with me this far and reading my story. Behold: THE LONGEST CHAPTER EVER POSTED! I'm shocked that I typed the meat of this chapter yesterday and proofread it all today. I'd like to think I'm becoming more dedicated to writing in general, but I have two tests this week and I'm procrastinating, fiercely. Anyways, please enjoy.
> 
> T Rated Chapter Ahead
> 
> Warnings: language, pseudo-sexual flirtations, embarrassed Yuri.

I felt the heat waft from the small ramen stand’s kitchen in front of me as it combatted the creeping cold of mid-October behind me.  Eating soup while it was chilly was part of what made ramen so good, but without it the cold was starting to become uncomfortable.  I waited on Victor to order and he was surprisingly late.

I showed him where it was so he couldn’t have gotten lost.

After I ordered some green tea to fend off the cold I sighed in resignation.  He was twenty minutes late now.  My thumb ran over my cup, the ceramic felt like it was burning from how cold my fingers were. 

He could have forgotten.  I wouldn’t put it past him.  I felt aggravated and gripped my cup tightly to distract myself from thinking anything ridiculous.  I would just wait, after all, he had waited for me.  Any irritation I could have felt was snuffed out by my reasoning and the guilt accompanying my last thought.

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. 

The ramen chef looked back at me and opened his mouth, beginning to offer to take my order once more.  Naga-san had recognized me as a regular, despite not having come here in a few months.  He had given me some distance after a quick chat.  But sitting here for about thirty minutes with only tea brought the cook to ask for my order.  He stopped his spiel short when a customer barreled under the cloth dividers and into Nagahama Ramen’s bar.

I squealed and held my green tea upright as the bar shook from the impact.  The silver-haired man must have been pretty damn hungry to catapult himself… Silver…

“Yuri!”  Victor turned to look at me, still reclining half on the bar as he spoke.  His chest was heaving from how out of breath he was, causing his sentences to come out choppy and filled with deep breaths.

“Sorry I’m late, but it was for a good reason.”  His Russian accent was so strong I could barely understand his English, especially with how fast he was speaking.  He still hadn’t sat down, his wide-eyed look and giddy appearance was all the more apparent while he was upright.  My confused look led him to continue his explanation.

What did you do?

“I got a job.  Hasetsu is officially my and Makkachin’s new home!”  He continued a list of details concerning hours and the people he had met today, but I wasn’t paying enough attention.  Victor was staying in Japan, not just Japan but in my hometown, for the foreseeable future, with me, not leaving.

I didn’t want to linger on the thought for much longer.  Victor would notice my lack of participation, and I would most likely have a stupid look on my face.  It was time for ramen.  It was time to stop overthinking.

“Well you heard him Naga-san, this is now a celebratory dinner.  We’ll have the special.”  Their seafood ramen bowl was fantastic, and it would be a good conversation starter.  Victor had never stopped looking at me, during his story or while I ordered.  He looked a little shocked.  Was he bothered that I ordered for him?  That was really forward of me now that I think about it.

“I’m sorry, Victor.  I didn’t mean to just order for you.  Naga-san can change your order if you want something else.”  I stumbled my words out as I watched the shock stay plastered on to Victor’s face.  The air wasn’t so cold that I could see each of his breaths as anything other than the rising and falling of his chest, but the stand felt colder still.  He gave his reply after slowly sinking to the stool to my left.

“It’s fine, I was just thinking how well you know me.  That’s exactly what I wanted to order.”  His expression changed at last.  It was the soft smile and glittering eyes that he always had when he was pleased with something.  I fidgeted under his look before turning back to my tea. 

I remembered him telling me how he loved the creole seafood he had on a trip to the southern United States.  How he explained when he first ate boiled crawfish and failed miserably was hard to forget.  I just naturally recollected his taste and ordered.  I said I wouldn’t do this damn it.  At least he didn’t look that bothered by my actions. 

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.  You look rather cold, do you want my jacket?”  He creeped closer to examine me after his observation and question.  His eyebrows had knitted together in worry while he looked at my now flustered face.  “You look warm now though,” I couldn’t tell if he was teasing me or not.

My hands went up between us and waved from side to side to deter him from getting closer or from insisting further.  He was probably offering because he felt bad, there was no need.  Sharing clothes isn’t something we should do.  We’re already too familiar, if we do that we’d probably look like a couple rather than the eerily close friends that we were.

“N-no I’m fine, not cold at all.”  He leaned further into my space with a dissatisfied look.  His chest pressed into my stilled palms; I quickly reevaluated my answer.  “I-I-I ordered tea and w-we’re about to have soup.  I’ll be warm soon enough.”  He stared at me, patiently waiting for me to answer the rest of his questions.  I could feel the tremors shake through my arms while I spoke.  “And no, I wasn’t waiting too long.”

Good God, why did you get so close to me?!  Victor seemed appeased by my answer and sat back into his chair.  My hands were still held in the space between us, frozen in my surprise.

“I’m glad you’re not upset.”  Victor leaned forward to the bar with his statement.  His hair fell forward off of his face, allowing me to see both of his closed eyes.  I’d never seen such an expression of utter relief from him.  “I needed to know if I had really bothered you, and I had to check if I could still read you by getting close.” 

I forgot about him ‘reading’ me.  He hadn’t done it in so long it just slipped my mind.  I had given him permission, but I guess he just hadn’t needed to read me until now.  He also could have been holding back for my comfort… Who am I kidding, when does he ever hold back?

My friend laughed at my expression and still raised hands.  I snapped out of my reverie and pushed them into my lap.  I can’t let his proximity get to me again. 

Our orders came out with two more hot teas.  Nagahama was always fast and didn’t cut quality, both bowls were overflowing with mussels, shrimp, and scallops.  Some were sautéed in butter while others had a crispy tempura batter; the sight was enough to make a grown man weak, but add the smell…  I could give Vicchan a run for his money at begging for this ramen.

“Wo~w!”  Victor turned to me after his exclamation.  “Yuri, what’s the proper saying before you have a good meal?”  He snapped his chopsticks apart and looked to me.  I smiled at his excitement and broke apart my own chopsticks.  I forget that he really is a foreigner.  There was so much he didn’t know about Japan.  It’s like experiencing everything with a child, even the little things excited him.

I clasped them between my palms in a praying motion.  I looked to Victor expectantly.  Fumbling his utensils some, he followed suit.

“Itadakimasu!”  We both bowed our heads and began to dig in.

I slurped my noodles quietly, in awe at the flavor and satisfaction I got from the noodle bowl.  We need to come here more often if Victor insists on going out more consistently to a meal.  I heard the sound of something plopping into the bowl on my left but didn’t pay it much mind until the noise happened twice more.  Curiously I looked over towards the taller man.

He was glaring pitifully at the tempura shrimp floating in his mostly full bowl.  Noodles were looped loosely on top of his chopsticks and slipped easily off the ends.  His right hand held both of the wooden utensils together, without a space to actually grip food.

He doesn’t know how to use chopsticks.  He’s a foreigner, but he was so well versed with everything else I never even thought that he couldn’t use them.  On all of our past dates he always ate snack foods or finger foods. 

I felt like such an ass, but how do I fix it?  I hope he doesn’t get embarrassed.

He huffed and rested his wrist dismally on the rim of his bowl.  He noticed my staring then.  I wasn’t very subtle so I figured he might.

“Yu~ri.”  The silver-haired man whined my name pathetically and tilted his chin into the air.  He looked absolutely helpless for a twenty-seven year old man.  I couldn’t help but chuckle at his behavior.

It wasn’t just his excitement that was child-like.  He had such a way of playing it off that it wasn’t awkward for him or me.  It was actually, really endearing.  I had to learn that trick, even though I probably couldn’t pull it off.

No matter how he plays it off though, Victor still didn’t know how to use chopsticks, and his tempura was getting soggy. 

“Hold one stick along your thumb, now the other, like this.” I gestured to my own hand to have an example for him to more easily imitate.  Blue eyes darted quickly from my hand, to his own, and back again multiple times as he tried to replicate the proper hold.  “Now pinch the sticks with the pad of your thumb.” 

One of his sticks tumbled from his hand and half into his bowl on the third try.  My friend sighed and grabbed his bamboo utensils once more.  His aggravation at his inability to pick up the skill was becoming more evident.  He just wasn’t getting the correct grip.  All he needed was a nudge.

“Here.”  My hand pulled the top chopstick into the right spot.  I slid my right hand to cup his own, my fingers overlaying his own.  I gently guided his hand and squeezed it when he got over a shrimp.  He clenched his hand quickly and plucked the fried food from the bowl with a sure grip.  He can be taught!

Only after he had pulled it up to take a bite did I realize how near I had gotten to him.  I was so focused on making sure the food didn’t fall that I was oblivious to everything else.  My other arm was behind him, my palm resting on the chair, less than an inch from the cream colored coattails covering his lower body.  My face was so close to his now that I could hear the crunch of the crispy tempura after each flexing of his jaw.  I hadn’t even let his hand go when he fed himself, well, when I fed him.

“Mmm, thank you for the hands on lesson, Yuri-sensei.”  He turned those startlingly blue eyes to me and nearly whispered the statement.  I could see the striations his iris as it contracted, swelling his pupil to a nearly unbelievable size.  I had almost forgotten how attractive Victor was.  Bad.  Very bad thought to have with my friend this close to my face.

Not only had he backed off from being in my personal space for the past few days, but he hadn’t been as flirty either.  I was scared to retract myself from the sensual man in fear that he would notice my proximity.  Not that he would probably mind.  He hadn’t said anything about it, maybe he was distracted by my hand holding his.

“You’ve got it.”  I trail off my statement and retract my palm from the back of his right hand.  I dragged my eyes anywhere but his face.  My fingers were careful not to disturb the hold he had on the chopsticks as I pulled away.  This felt like a withdrawal mirrored in severity and complexity to military grade extraction missions.  “You’re an excellent student, top of the class.”

My reprieve was short lived as Victor once again called for me.

“Thank you sensei.  It helps when you have an even better instructor.  I warn you, I’ve been accused of being a teacher’s pet on more than one occasion.”  I felt my heartrate shoot up to a dangerous level at his comment and the playful wink he tacked on to it. 

Too much.

I turned my body back to my own bowl and began eating quickly.  The ramen was still hot enough to scald my mouth, but I didn’t want to risk looking back to him after a comment like that.  My hands were shaking so much that I lost a majority of my noodles from them falling off the edge of the tapered utensils.  It looks like the student’s skills have quickly surpassed the master’s due to the master’s inability to keep his damn cool.

“I understand why you’re a regular here Yuri; this ramen is delicious.  What are some of your other favorite restaurants?  We could go to whichever one you like next.”  The Russian continued on like he hadn’t just let out a statement two steps away from foreplay.

Just play it off, don’t dwell on it.  If he sees I’m flushed, he’ll probably keep making comments like that one to see me squirm and try to ‘read’ me more.

“I don’t have many favorite restaurants besides this one.”  That was honestly the truth.  Between living with a chef, gaining weight, and being a broke college student, I didn’t go out too much.  I also wanted to avoid any intimate settings like dinners where I touch Victor, but the truth was coincidentally supporting that desire.

Victor had slurped away a large portion of his bowl during my slowly spoken response.  He was listening attentively the whole time, showing off his new skill with an impressive amount of precision.

“You don’t have any more favorite restaurants, in your home town that you’ve lived in your whole life?”  He closed his eyes, tilting his head in an accusatory fashion.  Victor’s smiled like he thought I was refusing to answer him truthfully.

Was he going to get all touchy now to make me more honest?  I almost felt the sweat begin to begin to form at the thought.  Cut him off before he begins.

“I don’t go out to eat a lot because I gain weight easily.  Because I’m not doing much physically it’s even easier to fill out.”  I chuckled casually after my statement.  My weight used to be an issue with me, mentally speaking. 

Being depressed and all in my head kept me away from worrying about things like my physical appearance.  I was more worried about all of my mental and personal shortcomings, rather than the physical ones.  Just because I wasn’t primarily worried about it didn’t mean that I wasn’t a bit of a sore spot though.  The smile on my face felt fake and unnatural, but I was never very good at faking happiness so that was expected.

I hadn’t been paying attention to Victor’s reactions for most of this date.  When I looked back at him Victor had ignored the rest of his ramen and held the base of his chin in thought.  The heat of the ramen had kept his cheeks and the tips of his ears rosy.  His gaze was calculated and surprising in its intensity.  It was almost funny that he was giving his empty ramen bowl this look, rather than directing it towards me. 

I fiddled idly with my chopsticks until he snapped out of the look and raised his hand into the air.  He’s got his idea then.

“How about we jog together?  Both Makkachin and I need a buddy to run with.  You aren’t exercising and should be, and I bet Vicchan wouldn’t mind an occasional run either.  Working out together would also allow us to go out to eat more often.  What do you say?”  He listed the supporting statements like a well-organized essay designed specifically to win me over.  I had to stifle my laughter at the thought.

I couldn’t logically argue with his points, and I didn’t want to.  Jogging would be something more casual than a dinner and offer more distractions from any overly flirty behavior, from either parties.  I would also be picking up a healthy habit for myself and for Vicchan.

He really wanted to keep seeing me, even when I’ve been my awkward and surprisingly forward self.  It’s hard to comprehend that I have another friend, but I’ll do my best.

“I apologize ahead of time for my terrible athletic ability.”  Victor beamed at my answer, even if I had answered indirectly.  I blushed at his look and began to wave Naga-san down for the checks.  I hadn’t even tried to keep track of how many times I had blushed tonight.  I have come to terms with being Yuri Tomato-Faced Katsuki while knowing this ridiculous Victor named man.

“I’ll be sure to be the best trainer that I can tomorrow.  I warn you now that I’m relentless, and I won’t go easy on you.”  The silver-haired man looked calmly to me as he spoke.  That wasn’t a warning, it was a fact, one that I knew quite well already.  “I guess I’ll be able to school my own teacher; neh, Yuri-sensei?”

“Treat me kindly Victor-kōchi.”  He laughed loudly at his new title and embraced it with open arms.

We paid our bills and kept drinking tea while we chatted more and more.  I told him about when I had last eaten ramen with my old dance teacher, Minako-sensei.  She had gotten drunk and danced on top of the ramen bar, eventually breaking it in half.  Victor began to hold his side from the strength of his laughter by the end of the story.  I left out the details about me dancing, but because the story involved ramen and teachers I told him about her. 

She actually reminded me a lot of Victor now that I thought about it.  That thought alone made getting on with the Russian man a lot less intimidating.

We set the time and place to meet so we could begin to jog early tomorrow morning.

Maybe after all this jogging business is said and done I would be back in shape enough to dance again.  I’m sure Minako-sensei would be excited to have her ‘sinnamon roll’ back in the studio more regularly.  I don’t know why exactly she calls me that, or what it means.  I don’t ask for explanations any more.  I’ve learned that it’s better to not question her unless I want a lengthy, often perverse, insight on the world that I didn’t want to know.

Before I know it, we were both standing and waving goodbye to one another.  As I turned to begin walking home in the tranquil darkness of Hasetsu’s streets, Victor called out to me for the last time that night.

“Jā mata ashita, Yuri.”  I thought his accent was strong in English, but his Japanese was so lilted I could barely make out what he had said.  He turned quickly after his casual farewell.

I decided not to worry about how I may seem to Victor, how my actions could be perceived by my friend.  I doubt that there was much I could do that would actually repel the blue-eyed man.  He said I knew him pretty well, so I won’t keep worrying.  I wanted to keep surprising him, to keep up the give and take of our relationship.

My hands cupped around my mouth to amplify my words.

“Do skoroy vstrechi, Victor!”  My voice was fairly soft, despite the added amplification from my hands.  He stopped immediately and whipped his head around to look at me.  His eyebrows were raised and his lips parted in his shock at my exclamation.  His surprised expression from when I ordered for him earlier looked like a subtle lift of an eyebrow compared to his face now.

Did my pronunciation make my farewell sound like an insult?  Was that the final ‘too casual/forward’ straw?  I could feel the beginning of a million worries bubbling up in my subconscious.  My hands were now clenched in front of my neck, slinking slowly lower and lower as the seconds passed by this moment, our moment.

The look of unadulterated happiness that he showed to me cleared any uneasy feelings from my mind, almost instantaneously.  His eyes glittered with mirth that was breathtaking even at this distance.  I felt a lump in my throat that prevented any possible words I had from coming out.

The feeling that was left in place of my anxiety was something new, something indescribable, and something that only Victor could have ever brought to my life. 

I turned and began my walk back home with a rampant blush on my face, running from the embarrassment and the strange feeling.  Once I rounded the corner, I began to sprint to distract myself.  The asphalt smacked harshly, through the soles of my shoes, and what felt like straight into my bones. 

“There were two things that you weren’t supposed to do Yuri.  Don’t get physically close to him because it gives you a case of dirt brain, and don’t speak his language because it’s too forward.  What did you do?  BOTH!”  I berated myself while I ran towards the onsen, screeching my mortification to the waxing crescent moon and cloudy skies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if I've mixed up any words or translations. I have only google translate as my ally. I did decide to update all of the non-English languages to be represented as they are in this chapter, not using their respective nationalities characters (like kanji.) The words look better and the document doesn't fuss with me over the Russian formatting when I do it this way. I've also opted out of putting in translations of any kind because most of them are self-explanatory or explained immediately after being spoken.
> 
> Please let me know by review/PM/favorite/follow how you felt about this chapter or the story in general. I do my best to please. See you in the next update!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming to my humble fic! As usual, my update is a little later than it should be, but the last chapter's 4,000 word count gave me high expectations for myself. This puppy is only 3,000 but get ready for the teasing!
> 
> More specifically, get ready for a nice, long, slow development of friendship that stands on the border of being an overly mushy, touchy-feely, grossly romantic relationship.
> 
> Rated T Chapter ahead.
> 
> Warnings: Yuri suffering via exercise, Makkachin being adorable, naughty language, Victor being extra (flirting, touching, feeling, etc.)

I knew there would be pain, but I had forgotten about the burn. It was a slow, creeping, consuming feeling that melted my thoughts from the inside. The over exhaustion clung to every muscle, even breathing felt laboring and tiring. My limbs protested with every move, and the moment that I thought the burn would be so paralyzing in its intensity that it would slow my movements, he was there.

"Keep up Yuri, Makkachin has you beat at the pace you're going!" He yelled his statement over his shoulder with a merciless smile.

You're going to cripple me, you big, oafish, ass-hat. I yelled this internally while I helplessly gasped for air and tried not to keel over.

There's never a moment where I would actually say these things out loud, at least in front of Victor. I bite my tongue to quiet my exhaustion-fueled rage. I hadn't been this out of shape since before I went to Detroit, and normally I would take time to build up my strength. Instead, this silver-haired madman runs me, for two hours every day, until the point of collapse. Then, he would demand to see me the following morning.

We had been running for four days, and my body ached to the core. I don't know what exactly was keeping me alive at this point: Victor's strict instruction or sheer stubbornness on my part.

It had almost been two weeks that I'd known Victor now. I feel like we'd talked about everything in that time. But still we would find new things to say, and find new things about each other.

There wasn't much energy given to talking during the first part of our meetings. I would feel bad about being so quiet on our jogs, but my panting and huffing filled any silences that Victor had. He also seemed understanding enough, taking his title of kōchi very seriously at the strangest of times. We talked after exercising anyways, often visiting the Boba shop at the end of our excursions for a well-earned treat. This would leave us our time to chat.

I shake my head from side to side, my hair sticking to my temples from the amount of sweat on my face. I couldn't organize my thoughts now. My knees were willfully pulled higher and my gait was lengthened so I could catch up to my ruthless instructor and his ace student. We just had to make it over the next two hills and then we would be doing our cooldown exercise.

I could never really think while I exercised. Pain was a huge distraction from my thoughts. I never had a good tolerance, and my entire family dubbed me as a whiner. Even last week when I stubbed my toe on our kotatsu table's legs I just laid down until the aching stopped. Multitasking with this endless burning made it even more impossible to think.

This had to be what death felt like.

"Oh thank you, merciful God." When we finally got over the second hill I couldn't help the excited outburst. My feet almost made me topple over from how quickly they stuck to the pavement. I was hunched over, supporting my upper body mostly with my hands at my waist.

Makkachin ran to me after I had stopped. Leaning further with my hands on my thighs now, I smiled at her approach. My competition or not, she was adorable, and a great running mate.

"You should have slowed down while we were running, Maka. Victor wouldn't have had the heart to stop us." I spoke sweetly as her tail began to wag.

It's a shame that I couldn't bring Vicchan for her to play with, but he gets too rowdy and slipped out of his leash too many times the first day for me to risk it. I dropped my damp palms from my knees to lovingly rub the older poodle's face. She licked my hands and face immediately, my body swaying some from her action's force. I chuckled and hugged her to me.

Have I mentioned how much I love dogs?

"Makkachin, don't be rude. Yuri still has to cooldown and stretch before we can play." Upon hearing her name, the furry force of nature ran back to her master. "Let's go Yuri! It's your day to pick the flavor of boba, and I'm parched." He again spoke over his shoulder, not quite turning back at me as he stood still on the thin concrete sidewalk, waiting for me.

I huffed a dismissive breath and panted for a bit longer from my position.

Don't test me Victor. I'll order tapioca balls with no filling and watch as you gag at the taste if you don't calm down.

My hostile thoughts never reach my friend as he smiled and jogged in place. I don't know how Victor was so well composed after exercising that regimen every day. My eyes traced over his form to take in every detail that I could. I couldn't help the side by side comparison to my own state.

Where I was panting so hard that it could be classified as hyperventilation, Victor's breath was heavy but measured in long breaths. His near silent breathing was only given away by the rise and fall of his shoulders and chest under perfectly pressed athletic clothes. My clothes were worn and wrinkled from how hard I had moved my limbs and the dampness of my skin seeping into them. My friend had expensive, form-fitting exercise clothes, without a single sweat stain.

Speaking of sweat, I was drenched to the point of slicking my clothes to my body and my hair to my head. I learned early on that Victor didn't sweat, he glistened. His skin was perfectly dewy without a single drop of sweat running over his face. He had a healthy flush to his cheeks and neck that looked almost airbrushed onto him by a cosmetologist with a three figure salary. I almost felt self-conscious with my lobster-like complexion in the same vicinity as his.

Perhaps the difference between our expressions was the most drastic. His was always the same, all smiles and calm closed eyes, comfortable. My expression was closer to a fish out of water, gasping and wide-eyed and just as wet, suffering. And every day he was always ahead of me, looking back.

He was ridiculously out of my league.

I stood up straight and clenched my fists. Reckless thoughts raced through me as the gap between our abilities became clearer with each observation.

I always hated to lose.

The slow burn that crawled under my skin was intensified by my displeasure at falling so far behind this man. Something changed, a real spark from the fanned embers burning in my flesh ignited into determination and a second wind.

I always ran with Victor. Even before we started exercising I ran away from him. I ran to keep up with him when he became my friend, both literally and figuratively. So if I'm going to run, I'm going to run faster than before. If I'm going to look like I ran miles, then I'll run that distance and more. And if I'm going to look like I worked harder than Victor, I'll do so much more that it shames the prideful bastard.

My body leaned forward and I launched myself into a sprint. The pain from earlier was nonexistent. The burn was now a roaring fire that simmered in my belly rather than my legs. I wouldn't allow myself to back down now. I laughed from the exhilaration of it all. Blood, endorphins, and adrenaline rushed through each capillary in my body, flushing and energizing me all at once.

This changed everything. The only sensations I had to focus on was the wind whipping my hair against my face and the stretch of my limbs as they crawled further and further ahead of me. I felt unstoppable.

The gazebo where Victor and I would stretch came into focus faster than it ever had before. I slowed my run, to a jog, and finally to a walk as I climbed the short steps up the small wooden structure. My mouth hung open from how hard I was gasping and my vision blurred from the sweat running in my eyes.

I heard a steady approach of footsteps and paws against wood before I turned around.

"You may have left something behind." The accented voice carried a taunting tone as he walked closer to me.

I exhaled and tried to come up with a proper reason as to why I ran like something had set me on fire. There wasn't a good way to phrase 'I was tired of feeling inadequate' without sounding immature or hostile. I hadn't even thought about ditching him. He cut me off before I had a chance to phrase my apology for leaving him in my dust.

"Lucky for you they didn't crack. Every pair of sunglasses I've ever owned were so delicate I had to replace a lens when they fell less than a foot. I guess prescription glasses are made of tougher stuff." Victor fiddled with the thick black frames of my glasses as he pulled them out of his pants' pocket and cleaned the lenses with the hem of his shirt. I automatically felt the side of my face where the arm of my glasses would normally be.

When had they disappeared?

I pushed my hand into the fringe of my sweat-slicked hair in an attempt to not look like an idiot grasping for frames that weren't there. Surprisingly enough my hair stayed smeared back, even as I grabbed and inspected my glasses. I cringed at the thought of how sweaty I had to be to allow for the gel-like styling to stay.

"Oh, thanks. I didn't even notice." I sputtered the words out uselessly, as I turned them over in my hands.

Despite being assured that there wasn't any damage, it's almost instinctive of every near or far-sighted person to check for detrimental surprises when they find their glasses where they shouldn't be. The frame was a little scratched where it would rub against my cheek, but other than that they were safe. I slipped my glasses back up the bridge of my nose.

My breathing had finally slowed down to a quiet but deep pace when I looked back at his, now clear, face. Of course he still looked aggravatingly perfect. The run to catch up to me gave him a deeper flush at least. I couldn't help but feel smug at the thought of him running to finally catch up to me for once. I knew my smile was warped into a smirk from the self-assured feeling of pushing Victor, if only a little.

"Ready to stretch, kōchi?" I prodded at the surprisingly silent man while I began to stretch first. I'm the one who's supposed to be worn out and dead, not you. Speaking of dead, I shifted my weight from leg to leg and felt the pain and burn in the small action. I winced in the oddly satisfactory aching that signaled growing muscle.

Victor snapped out of his little daze finally and lifted his foot behind him to begin stretching. He balanced his weight on his left leg as he began to speak.

"You just keep surprising me, Yuri." His voice was airy while he released his leg in favor of stretching his arm across his body. Blue eyes glimmered at me through his half-lidded gaze, and a smile, curled at the edges, pouted at me. I gasp out a lungful of air that I was holding and followed the taller man's lead in stretches. I chose to close my eyes while I savored the stretch, rather than look at Victor's curious expressions.

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Victor struck me as someone who got bored easily, and he always gushed about how he loved to surprise people. He lived off of surprises.

This is about the time I would normally freak out about how I would appear or seem to Victor. After a five and a half hour conversation with Phichit the other night, I had decided solidly not to worry about what Victor may or may not think of me. I had given all of the details, all of my worries, all of the concerning moments we had shared, with the absolutely giddy Thai man.

Finally talking about my new, confusing friend with my oldest and closest friend was practically cathartic, in more than one way. I had been talking with Phichit every night since then, and not just about my silver-haired, foreign friend. I realized the gap Phichit had left in my life quickly after reconnecting with him. I had missed him so much.

I released my arm from stretch and stared at Victor in his silence.

The blue-eyed man shook his head in a negative response and kneeled on the patterned wood of the gazebo, bringing me out of my memories. Alright, I didn't bother him then.

I mean, I'm not worrying about what he thinks. I said I wouldn't worry. This is me caring about my friend's opinion.

I sat down at the center of the small structure and laid on my back, raising my left leg slightly. Patiently I waited for the rest of his response while looking at the wooden ceiling. Victor always responded quickly, except when he was about to touch me. I prepared myself for the gut-wrenching embarrassment he would dish out for me today.

On the first day I had been reluctant to stretch together. Actively inviting my touchy friend to touch me seemed like throwing gasoline onto a candle I wanted to blow out. The agony accompanying the fatigue in my legs the next day changed my perspective pretty quickly though.

He was so excited to, what was it, 'build some trust in our relationship.' God, he had been more energetic than Vicchan that day.

His hand lifted the hem of my sweatpants. Chilled fingers wrapped carefully around my ankle and pulled it up, bending my knee in a warning before he would straighten my leg. As usual everything was hypersensitive when he put his hands on me. I felt antsy waiting for his response and the stretch I knew would come at once.

"It's quite the opposite actually. I'm happy that I'm getting to know you, and that you finally seem to be coming out of your little shell." His left hand came down, just above my unbent knee, like a second warning and a question of permission for the coming stretch.

I nodded while looking up while I thought about his words. He could tell that I was being myself then. Victor has started to learn how to really read me, without touchi-

What.

The stretch was deep, deeper than either of us were prepared for. It ended with my leg almost horizontal, knocking the air out of me like a slow punch to the gut. I was left winded and grasping for sanity. The tall man was pressed against the back of my entire thigh, looming over me with an absolutely delighted look as I sat numbly.

What?

My breath hadn't made its way back to me before he pushed me to my limit. He shuffled and stretched my leg even farther. I gasped out at the twinge in my hamstrings and the unbearable warmth trapped between our clothed bodies. Balancing himself above me by pressing my ankle with one hand and the other hand resting beside my hip, he stared at me.

…What?

"Wo~w, you're so limber today!" He tilted his head, not a foot from me, and held his shocked and awe filled stare. The blue-eyed man's shifting to deepen my stretch brushed his hips against the swell of my ass. Air was suddenly pulled into my lungs, serving to bring my abdomen closer to Victor's. I felt claustrophobic and small underneath his wide shoulders.

It finally sunk in just where Victor was.

W-what in the ever-loving fuck was going on?!

My mouth gaped open and the rush of blood to my face was so intense I almost got a nosebleed. I squealed and pushed his torso away by placing my foot on his shoulder, shoving him backwards and off of my body. Kicking him back was the only option, using my arms had the possibility of keeping his groin against me. My face had gone numb from how hot my blush had gotten. I swear I was going to get a heart murmur.

I should have just suffered with shallow stretches and the consequences of the next day. I gave him an inch and it magically turned into a mile, a mile of him pushed up against me. I knew better than to let this happen. I laid there, panting in regret and mortification.

Victor dropped my now limp leg. For once it seemed he got the hint. Just as I was going to lean up and go over some sort of boundaries with my Russian friend, my right leg was lifted into the air. My back collided with the golden colored wood as I was brought into a parallel stretch.

"Time for the other one." He smiled gleefully and pressed against me once more. My hands grasped desperately for the floor, for Makkachin, for anything but the fabric of his shirt.

No. No. No. No.

"Victor!" I gasped his name out as the pain of the new stretch and his actions overwhelmed me.

"Don't be like that Yuri. You have to be in top shape for your new routine, so be sure to stretch completely." His ridiculously large hands pushed deeply into my flesh, holding me still. My thoughts stuttered at his words. What new routine?

"Huh?" Such intelligence on my part.

"Of course we'll do more than run. I think stairs would be good for all that extra stamina you have. You should be more honest with your coach, Yuri." Victor's smile was a mixture of accusation and excitement, like I had been personally holding myself back. That look terrified me, and I couldn't help gulping from how it foreshadowed tomorrow's events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blessed are the readers who have stayed with me and who have just found me! I don't have any blessing powers but I wish the best upon you guys. You're the bombs. So drop a comment or PM me if you liked, loved, hated, or meh'ed the chapter (or a kudo, those are totally okay to leave *whimpers*.) Feedback figuratively feeds me delicious dinners.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello at last readers! Here comes the next chapter of Therapy. I had to help my grandmother move into her new house last week so my schedule was bumped around and this chapter came out a little later. I want to stress that though this is a romance fic, the main focus for the first part will be Yuri healing. That means that I have to develop Yuri's relationships with people other than Victor too. This is called Therapy on Ice, he's getting better and I'm so proud of this boy. Usually chapters will have Victor in it, because I love that man.
> 
> By the by, I went back and changed around some information on chapter 13 because I was displeased with the order of it
> 
> T Rated Chapter ahead
> 
> Warnings: Language, sassy eyebrows, and tender friendships.

"Yuri, I'm going to be honest with you." Phichit's voice followed his live video feed with a little delay. His statement was spoken like the precursor to something off topic and important, cutting through my rant on Victor and my exercise routine abruptly. I set my water beside my laptop's keyboard and waited for his honesty. I knew better than to hold anything liquid when Phichit decided to be honest.

Phichit Chulanont's version of honesty was a kind of blunt, soul-wrenching, embarrassing assumption, which was only sometimes right. Anything that followed a warning like that was bound to be cringe-worthy.

"Like, I'm about to lay some hard truths on you. Are you adequately prepared?" He tacked on another warning with his head tilted.

Oh goody, two verbal caution signs, proceed with care.

I nodded after ensuring there wasn't anything else catastrophic to my computer or health in the immediate area.

"He wants the booty." His deadpan look and serious tone didn't match the ridiculous statement.

"Phichit!" My face flared instantly while I jerked back from the seemingly innocent image of the Thai man on my screen. I stood and leaned down to look for any tell-tale sign, any glimmer of a joke in his eyes. He held the expression strongly, flinching only after hearing the loud bang of my chair hitting the floor.

His poker face was getting good. He usually laughed at his own jokes.

"More specifically, he wants your booty." Phichit winked and smiled mischievously.

"P-p-p-" I couldn't even screech his name before he began defending himself.

"Now come on Yuri, the signs are all there. I know you're dense about anything that even sounds like romance, that's super cute by the way, but that man thirsts for you." The dark haired man slammed his palm against his desk, punctuating the word 'thirsts' perfectly. "I'm over 4,000 kilometers away from the two of you and I can tell."

I stood still, refusing to move out of sheer astonishment from Phichit's assumption. What on earth gave him that idea? I told him about how ridiculous Victor was, about our outings, about how Victor being my friend is helping me to go back to my life. There wasn't anything that was a precursor or a hint to romance, just embarrassment.

"No, no, you don't get to look all offended and shocked when I tell you something you should have known by now. You're a little slow so I'll recap it and put it into terms you can more easily comprehend, since you missed it the first time. Grab your chair and buckle up." He shuffled around and got more comfortable himself. I slowly picked up my swivel chair and sat down all while I kept firm eye contact with Phichit.

I complied if only to hear why he believed that Victor and I were anything but friends. Phichit is my closest friend, and the fact that he believed Victor liked me, scared the hell out of me. Will everyone else think that Victor and I are together when I introduce him? Was I saying it all in a way that made it seem like the Russian man had lecherous intentions? Would Victor be disgusted by everyone's thoughts?

"Okay, so you met this guy, I won't say his name to prevent any immediate bias, by literally running into him. You knock him onto the ground, shouting his name as you take him down. This guy decides to buy you coffee, after YOU ran into HIM, because he totally owes you for you running into him." Phichit looked curiously at me. "Not only that, but he wants to bring your dog something too, ensuring a meeting the next day." My determined friend sat back, breathing heavily after his first wave of exclamations. I had already thought this far and had explanations ready for him.

"I'm the only one who speaks a language he understands, Phichit. Of course he would want to keep meeting with me." I copied my friend's signature, sassy eyebrow lift in an attempt to stop his ridiculous explanations.

None of what we had done sounded anything more than platonic. My friend was just overreacting. I puffed a breath of air to flip the fringe of my hair out of my vision while I squinted at the high definition video of my friend.

"Let me finish, it isn't a love at first sight story, Yuri." The Thai man chided me and scooted closer to his laptop. He wet his lips, preparing for the next long-winded explanation.

"L-love?" Wait. He thinks that Victor could be attracted to me, when did love get involved?

"So you don't show up to the next date because you're nervous, and you don't know what this guy wants. You feel like shit about ignoring him after you realize he's just being friendly, and make him homemade mochi at the end of the day. These sweets are a pain to make, unique to Japan, and specifically made for him; you can't avoid that fact. You try to avoid him again, because you're still nervous or anxiety filled, while still holding onto his gift, and he literally runs into you!"

"P-" Running into him again was just coincidental, how did that support his argument. I know that I made those treats especially for Victor, but I also gave some to Mari for dealing with Vicchan running her all over the park. It wasn't like I gave him homemade chocolates on Valentine's Day. I just wanted to say sorry and I didn't want to just lead with 'hey, I'm sorry I was garbage and ditched you.' A snack seemed like the easiest way.

"Then after that you guys talk at the park for, roughly, five hours you decide you have to see each other again. Even after ditching him and being your anxiety riddled self, he finds you super endearing. You both meet for the next week. Every day. Talking for hours about where you've both been, about the important things and people in your life, and even going into small details like food preference.

"When was the last time that you talked to someone for five hours about anything? He leaned on you and told you about how lonely he used to be, showing you his vulnerabilities. All while unknowingly clearing up your ridiculous suspicion of being like his dog. Then you opened up right on back, like the suave son-of-a-bitch that you are!" His voice crackled through my small speakers, but the sound and volume was nowhere close to as surprising as the words themselves.

"I-I-" I was the farthest thing from suave. I just knew I would have been embarrassed after telling him all about Vicchan, and I didn't want him to worry like I always do. Maybe I assumed too much about how Victor thinks or responds. Again I was cut off as the fast-paced, excited boy in front of me started. His eyes glimmered with mischief and foreboding.

"Oh! You can't forget when he brought you mochi, specifically to thank you for all the effort that you put into your apology gift. He figured you out and got you all flustered from how accurate he was. He read you like a book- Oh! Oh, we can't forget about him 'reading' you, now can we? How exactly does he 'read' you again?" He paused for a dramatic effect, holding his chin inquisitively before answering his own question.

"That's right, he gets inappropriately close and flirts with you until you're in such an adorkable tizzy that you only have the capacity for unfiltered honesty." He nods arrogantly after his statements.

I decide to cross my arms and wait for Phichit to finish his rant. It might have looked like pouting, but it wasn't. I knew that Victor reading me was odd, but I would take an advantage to help me read him. So I didn't think anything else of it. Besides, he didn't always flirt when he read me…

"So you agree to let him read you to earn his forgiveness, practically inviting him to keep touching you. But I'm sure that doesn't mean you like him or anything." I cut Phichit off to clarify my reasons. I didn't just want Victor to touch me. I would have preferred he keeps his distance, but to forgive me he said doing that was a requirement.

"I did not 'agree' to let him read me. It was something I needed to do to get his forgiveness." My hands started to twist around one another, pulling at my fingers and joints as I fidgeted. It sounded weak, and from the raised eyebrow I got in response, Phichit knew it too. It was weak, but it was my reason. I wanted to keep being close to Victor, just not so much physically.

"So his forgiveness is worth getting sexually harassed?" Dark eyes looked deeply at me, his tone mockingly serious once more.

"It's not harassment! He-" I started to instinctively protect Victor. He wasn't a molester or anything like that, just a bit touchy is all. His hands and proximity were never romantic in intention. He also knew when to back off, so it's not harassment. It was just teasing.

"So you like it? You like him touching you, getting you all flustered and giving you his forgiveness, Yuri? Is that what you're telling me?" With each question he turned his head at more of an angle until it was completely sideways.

"Ah…" I opened my mouth to respond instinctually, only to find I didn't quite have a simple answer.

Thinking back on Victor's touches, each made me want to curl up and hide from the world in chagrin. He was gentle with me whenever we came into contact. While we stretch he is a bit firmer, but still it was never painful.

Despite his touches not feeling exactly, really, absolutely unpleasant, I didn't explicitly like them because they made me so uncomfortable around Victor. I'd gotten more used to them, but I know I could never build a true resistance to it all. He was full of too many surprises.

Where the answer became more complicated in my mind was how I would feel if he stopped touching me. It would be so off putting, like he was somehow upset at me or angry with something else. Victor's proximity and touching was such a large part of him that if he stopped it would have to mean something was wrong. The thought of Victor being upset, especially at me, was worse than any level of embarrassment that he could ever dish out. It had me looking down intensely at my still clenching hands. Phichit's voice snapped me back from my reverie.

"Huh, we'll come back to that." He was looking curiously at me, like he was seeing something unexpected. The expression didn't stick when he continued his long-winded explanation. "Now, after you agreed to his terms and conditions, or whatever you called it, he flat out told you that he liked you. Come on. You're killing me Yuri, he literally told you that he likes you." I was quickly back on the defensive.

"As a friend!" I shouted a bit too loudly in response. There was never even a moment that I considered that statement as Victor liking me any more than a person. It made me incredibly happy to know that he liked me and wasn't just desperate for human interaction or using me.

"Did he say 'as a friend'? No, I know he didn't, because he wants the booty!" He stubbornly stated the thesis statement of this five freaking page essay he was giving me on my new friend's supposed attraction to me. I could feel the frustration at the ridiculousness of his words beginning to take a toll on me.

"He does not want me like that." I should have known better than to interrupt him again. I was resolutely ignored and talked over.

"After your romantic little rendezvous started to get stale, he changes the times to one perfect for taking you out to dinner. He takes you to your favorite restaurant that's also close to his apartment. I doubt that its location ever be used as a convenient 'come check out my place' invitation when you start getting more serious. Or that if you ever got so drunk he would have to let you stay over at his place, since it's so close by." He sarcastically remarked and took a breath.

"He changed the time for a job interview." I huffed indignantly. I was acknowledged this time at least.

"Why didn't he go to any job interviews before that Yuri? If you had moved some place completely new, without secure income, your first priority would be getting a job. Day and night you would be out hunting for one." Though many could take my friend's words as hostile, he was simply excited. The shit-eating grin also eliminated any negative connotation the words could have brought.

"He's loaded Phichit, he doesn't really need to work." I smiled back at my friend, refusing to allow his questions to get to me. There were logical explanations for everything, I just didn't know them all yet. His points were valid, all were questions I had asked myself but had not asked Victor. I stopped fearing Victor's answers a while ago.

"Then why would he get a job to tie him to a country whose native language he doesn't even know? If this was just some vacation why doesn't he go back to his real job? What is really tying Victor to Japan? You should ask him on your next jogging date." I fidgeted at his jab. Those are questions I really wanted to know damn it.

I still didn't know his last name. I wonder how either of my friends would respond to that lack of knowledge. I must have made a face because he snapped his fingers to get my attention once more.

"Hey, stop drifting off into la la land; you need to hear all of this." He looked slightly worried, rather than annoyed, before he continued. There wasn't anything for him to worry about. I still felt aggravated, but I would humor him until he finished.

"So you order for him at the ramen stand because you're so stupidly excited that he's going to be staying in Japan that you overstep some mental boundary of yours. I know you and I recognize that for what it was. You know his taste and he's damn well pleased that you do. He invites you out to eat more, but you gain weight easily so you decline. What does he do? He invites you to exercise with him." At some point the dark eyed man had started rubbing his chin and had closed his eyes. He was the poster child of plotting.

I thank every known deity that I hadn't told Phichit about the chopstick lessons. He would have a field day with that one from how he's overanalyzing every interaction so far. Hell, I get myself into a tizzy when I think back on how forward I was that night. I was close enough to smell the cologne on his neck for Christ's sake.

Oh God, if he knew that Victor calls me sensei… I could feel the blood leave my face at the thought.

"Now that you exercise together, you can continue to go out to eat. You exercise in the mornings for two hours, drink tea and chat immediately after for about an hour, sometimes three, and then you go out on dinner dates too! The most bonding you two have is while you jog though, isn't it? I mean, you even stretch together." He stressed 'bonding' by air quoting with his fingers. I rose to his taunt.

"You remember how good stretching after a workout was when we were together in Detroit." We had gone sightseeing in America, and our legs had not been prepared for the miles of walking that were involved. Phichit and I helped each other stretch almost every day and nothing ever came of it. Whenever I stretched at the dance studio Minako wasn't ready to pounce on me.

"Very true, but I didn't want your booty. Yuri, his dick came into literal contact with your ass and you still stretch with him, every day! Since that day, he gave you a new routine and he runs behind you now. Why would he run behind you?" He left his question with a short, rhetorical pause.

"So I don't fall behind or slack off." I jutted my head forward with my response.

"Sure, it's just coincidence that he has a head on view of the booty he wants. Even when you to go up stairs he stays behind you, watching you bounce your way to the top." My friend, now thoroughly winded from his explanation, leaned back. It would seem his assumption was through. Wait.

"I do not bounce!" I could feel blood return to my cheeks. I wasn't so overweight that I bounced when I moved.

"You're right, you don't bounce." He picked up a pencil on his desk and pretended to analyze it. His eyes snapped back to me when he spoke again. "That ass does. Yuri, your butt is its own entity, it has a presence all its own, and it jiggles. It's almost not fair how good it looks." I gawked at my friend.

"Phichit!" I won't even put time into trying to analyze my own ass, or whether or not that observation was true. I doubt my heart could handle much more of my friend today. Surprisingly my exclamation sobered him.

"Beyond all of what you've told me, I'll tell you what I absolutely know. I may be wrong about him lusting after you, but I do know this Yuri: you are happy."

I stared at him with a wide-eyed expression. Did I seem happier? I knew I felt that way around Victor, but I didn't think I had begun to sincerely show it.

"It's not something like you're smiling more, or anything that obvious." His almost black eyes flicked down at the keyboard while he intently thought about his explanation. "You have inflections in your voice again, despite if it's of annoyance or disbelief. Your eyes light up while you listen to people, even when I rant to you about your own love life and you're obviously tired of it. You started talking to me too." He looked back at me with pain obvious in his stare. I felt guilt itch and burn at the back of my eyes.

"Before this week, the last time we had talked was over a month ago, and you weren't really talking to me then. You asked me about the weather, the weather. We've been friends for years, and you talked to me about the weather." He tried to make it sound like he was teasing, but I knew him too well to be fooled by his arsenal of fake smiles.

I wished that he wasn't so far away, that I could apologize in person, because that's what a friend as good as Phichit deserved.

"I'm sorry that I did that to you. I was so wrapped up in…" I didn't have a valid excuse for acting the way I have for this long. When dad died I was a mess, but I'm okay with him being gone now. Everything after that has been entirely selfish and without reason. I was so tired of letting this lack of feeling press pause on my life. Victor was the start of my change for the better, Phichit knew that. I dragged my eyes back to meet almost black irises.

"It's fine now. I got to see you again, not the absent shell you'd been for so long now." I saw his forgiveness, so readily given. He really was a good friend. An exaggerated wink and an ear to ear smile spoke more than his words could to me. "This guy is good for you, and I'm glad that you are starting to feel like yourself again. Even if you don't realize it yet."

I couldn't help but laugh at it all. The Thai man was so good at being sincere without making it awkward, with anyone. He was mistaken though, I realize how good for me Victor was.

"You better not ignore me for a month ever again though. I almost came to Japan a few times." He walked out of the camera's line of sight and spoke louder so that I could still hear him. "Luckily your sister responded to my messages and told me you were alive." When he came back into the frame he was holding a few of his hamsters. He folded his legs and I sat quietly, waiting for him to keep going.

"I might have to come up anyway, the theme of my next film project is 'First Love' and you two could be my muses. I would be there to film your hand holding, your stretching exercises, etc. Of course I'd document all of the firsts: shooting fireworks together, exchanging Christmas gifts, showing him off to your family, and of course the first kiss." He sighed at the prospect of either film or romance. He loved both equally so it was hard to tell.

"We already kissed so that last one's out." I responded, half believing he wouldn't listen and the other half on complete instinct. The silence after was deafening.

Shit.

I looked back up to him. He was eerily serene, eyes closed, hamsters in his lap, like a monk meditating on the meaning of life itself. His hands wrapped around his computer monitor slowly. The screen was suddenly jerked towards him, giving me a dramatic look at half of his face. He inhaled deeply through his nose and his eyes snapped open just before he spoke.

"WHAT?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! The long, drawn out dialogue synapse from Phichit is through. I hope that I caught his mannerisms and didn't go too off script from his character, but I couldn't help but make him the interpreter to Yuri's love life with a bit of sass.
> 
> Leave a comment or PM me if you liked/loved/hated/didn't care for this chapter. I hope to hear from you guys and I'll see you soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading my first story to Archive. I apologize if it's all a little wonky, I'm still learning! I have posted this fic on Fanfiction.net before posting here because I was born and raised on fanfiction.net so don't be alarmed if you see my story twice. Please comment to let me know how you like or dislike the story, I appreciate feedback so much.


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